The Curious Case of the Two Dirk Gentlys

2: Taking the Case

It was a whole team effort to contain the eagle. The boys eventually managed to back it into a corner (at the cost of much of their furniture) but there wasn't a lot they could do from there. They found themselves in a Mexican standoff. They couldn't move forward lest the vile creature scratch them both to death; it couldn't fly away without bumping straight into the wall. Stalemate.

The girls, on the other hand, faired far better. They came back with bundles of groceries in their hands, saw the battle unfolding in front of them, and didn't even bother asking questions. Questions were often a waste of time and rarely yielded helpful answers. Instead Mona found herself dropping her bags, allowing cans of soup and several loose oranges to spill out onto the floor, and before anyone could even think about suggesting calling an expert they found themselves in a room with a fully grown tiger. The eagle stopped fighting back instantly. A minute or two later the tiger was gone and Mona had formed a solid iron cage. The eagle didn't argue.

"Dirk, how did an eagle get in here?" Asked Farah as she pulled him off the floor by his shoulder.

"It was a gift, a client sent it." He replied as he brushed the dust off the shelves of his now completely ruined jacket.

"A box of chocolates would have been fine." She muttered.

"I know right?" Declared Todd. He rummaged through his desk draws for the first aid kit. There had to be some bandages or at the very least some plasters they could put on their scratches. Dirk didn't seem to mind much about the gashes on his skin. His mind had already completely switched gears. He strode over to the phone energetically and threw his tattered jacket to the side. He went to take a seat but quickly noticed it wasn't in its usual spot. Todd has pushes it clear in a panic. Dirk could have pulled it back with ease. Of course, that wouldn't have been very Dirk of him. Instead he sat down in the wheelie chair half away across the room and scooted over with his stinging legs.

"Dirk? What are you doing? Get back here, you're hurt." Todd ordered.

"It's fine. It's only blood." Dirk waved off. "Does anyone know how to dial back on this thing?"

Todd sighed. He slumped over and pressed the dial back button. Dirk nodeed and smiled
gratefully. All of a sudden Todd felt considerably better.

The phone barely rang twice before the man picked up. There was a sharp click and the voice of
an extremely flustered man. Our client, Dirk presumed.

"Victoria?" Asked the man.

"Um, no. It's Dirk." Dirk replied awkwardly.

"Ah, Dirk. Of course." He muttered. "Dirk, you need to get over here. Things are getting out of
hand. I can't say for sure but I'm pretty sure there was a bed here this morning that's completely
gone now. I'd go to the police but...well you know."

"I certainly do." Oh boy did he. Dirk had never particularly got along with the police, especially
considering he could often do their job better than them. There were a few he could quite happily
made friends with, Tina and Hobbs still phoned on a nearly weekly basis, but the rest either got in
his way, thought he was stupid, or both.

"I'll meet you in Watford. It's not far from London. There's a cafe there where I can talk to you in
person. Victoria has a thing about phones." The man explained.

"Watford? Like in England?" Asked Todd, leaning over Dirk to get to the phone.

"Of course. Where else would I mean?" The man laughed, seeming not picking up on the
difference in voice.

"Hardly." The man snorted. "Look if it's a money problem that's keeping you I'll reimburse you
when we meet." He continued.

"Well..." Todd's voice trailed off as he weighed up the pros and cons of travelling across the
ocean on the whim of a stranger. Unfortunately, weighing u p the pros and cons wasn't the holistic
way.

"We'll be happy to take on your case." Dirk announced. "Give us a few days and we'll be there to
fix everything." Well fix was probably the wrong word. Understand everything? Look into
everything? Look into everything was probably the most accurate.

"Dirk, you can't just up sticks and go to England." Whispered Todd.

"Why not? We have nothing on the go here." Rationalised Dirk.

"We'll probably be okay for a week or so. Thanks for your help, Dirk." Said the stranger. Before
Dirk could utter the words 'you're welcome' there was a loud thud followed by the cry of what
sounded like a small infant. This time it wasn't the office being destroyed. Instead it was the minds
turn to deal with the universe's games. "I've got to go. I'll see you soon."

The man the hung up almost immediately leaving Dirk to frantically note down the few solid facts
he had. He'd never been to Watford and he had absolutely no idea how to get there. He did know
London though. He lived there when he was very young. He was whipped away pretty quickly
but before America he and his mother went there for family at Christmas. If he could get there he
could work his way across the whole of England if need be.

"Pack your things, Todd. We're going on holiday." A leisure free holiday in which everyone
would be working.

"Five star hotel, first class flight, all expenses paid?" Todd asked playfully.

"Um, three star hotel, some expenses paid, if we really stretch we could just about afford business
class." Answered Dirk.

"I'll see if I can find the suitcase." Laughed Todd before heading towards the attic. Why Watford of all places? Were there no detectives in England? Stupid question. Lack of detectives wasn't the problem; it was the lack of detectives like Dirk. There was only one of him. It didn't matter in the end. Todd welcomed the break. America held too much chaos and conspiracy. England was much smaller, how weird could it get?