Invisible Scars (Creek)

13. New Feeling

That same night, Craig did attempt to go after Tweek, but because of Leslie, he was too late. After Craig sat down on the Craig, Leslie started clinging onto him, whispering dirty little things into his ear. Though Craig's mind was far from thinking about the girl. Instead, he was worrying about Tweek.

Fighting out his headache, he looks back at what happened. He regretted being so harsh with his choice of words. Craig thought back to all the times Tweek and him had shared personal space. Not a single time did Tweek ever try and pursue Craig. The majority of the time he was pushing himself away from Craig, and wanting more distance between them.

Craig quickly shot up from his seat, completely forgetting Leslie was laying against him. She gasped at him with a evil glare in her eye.

Craig dashed out the door, and bumped into Token. Craig stopped to ask if he had seen where Tweek went.

"Have you seen Tweek?"

"No, have you seen Clyde?"

"Yeah, over that way."

The conversation was to the point, both boys quickly heading separate ways. Craig decided he'd go outside, knowing that would be the 'Tweek thing' to do.

When he stepped out into the porch, he caught a glimpse of something he wished he didn't. Tweek was happily getting into Kenny's truck. Kenny had a flirty smile on his face as he started his truck.

All Craig could do was watch. His whole body felt sick at the sight. He knew about the rumors  Kenny had under his belt. He knew most of them pretty well, Kenny was a target for bullying and rumors. Craig once heard Kenny actually slept with a guy for money before.

Kenny was the only guy in the school, who openly came forth to say he wasn't completely straight. It was a absurd concept for the school to comprehend, most taking it as a bad thing.

As Craig watched them pull out into to the road, he whole body froze. If Tweek was gay, and so was Kenny to some extent, wouldn't something happened between them? No, that's unreasonable, Craig tried to convince himself. It didn't seem to stop the visions of Kenny and Tweek together play in his mind.

Craig felt embarrassed that he let his brain wander to the thought, but yet it was still there. Tweek being took advantage of while Kenny wore a smug devilish smile on his face. It hurt Craig's head to picture.

Craig went back to trying to reason with himself. His mind kept thinking of reasons that a hook up could happen. Tweek was too smart to fall for Kenny's smile, Tweek wouldn't want to hook up with someone he didn't know, or Tweek wouldn't want to hook up with someone known to be so rough as his first time.

Tweek this, and Tweek that, Craig kept thinking of more reasons why it would never happen. But one hung onto his mind. 'Wouldn't want to hook up with someone so rough to be his first time'.

Craig didn't really know that much about Tweek's personal life. Maybe he'd enjoy rough, maybe he's had his first time. The words whirled around his head, all of them making him sick to think about.

He wasn't sure why exactly he felt so odd though. Craig was open about sexual things, his mind had once had no block to stop him. Yet, there he was, feeling sickness deep inside him.

Maybe it was because of Tweek? But why Tweek? Craig pictured Tweek his mind; a small boy with big eyes and a baggy sweater on that exposed much of his neck. No disgust appeared, Craig was stumped. He couldn't put his finger on the feeling he carried.

Craig walked to his car, wanting to leave this party and create as much distance as possible. As he drove home, he couldn't help but feel the thoughts linger.

When Craig pasted Tweek's house, Kenny's truck was parked in the driveway. Craig quickly drove on by, but that sick feeling came rushing back to surface. When Craig got home, he rushed inside and got into bed.

His head was whirling, and Tweek was still there, not leaving Craig's mind. Craig felt the feeling as soon as he saw Kenny's car. Was he feeling this weird feeling because Kenny? Not possible, Craig had sat with Kenny many times, and he never felt disgusted.

Then it hit him, leaving Craig to feel like a deer in the headlights of a car. The reason why he felt this, was because he had imagined two boys getting it on. That was it. It had to be, what else could be the reason?

Craig was feeling all sorts of things in the moment, as his mind began to question its own sanity.

Why was he thinking of the two boys getting it on, in the first place?

Craig officially went too far, his mind was corrupt or drugged; anything but normal. He had no reason to immediately jump to think of Tweek and Kenny together. Craig came to no conclusion for his thoughts, nor the feeling he was having.

He's never had the feeling before, so he couldn't exactly name it straight out. To describe it, it made him feel as if he was missing something. Whatever that something was, it made his heart feel a loss of warmth. His stomach was a whole other story. There is where he feel a weird 'woozy' feeling, like being punched by a small fist, repeatedly.

The worse was the overall ache of it all. All those pains combined, plus the random rage he felt, added up to be a feeling of overwhelm. The rage was a bubbly anger, with anger all targeted to a certain thing, Craig just didn't know what the thing was. He felt upset in general, and the overwhelming feeling traveled through his whole body.

It made him feel as if he wasn't in control of himself. It made him feel like something invisible was tugging on the strings of his heart. He didn't feel like he had control of anything, almost as if his feelings were being manipulated by an outside force.

Craig only wished to forget about it. The feeling was starting to make his chest feel sore. He closed his eyes tight, and hoped the darkness of his dreams could block off the feeling he had.

He never came to a conclusion of why he felt what he did that night. His mind had given up, figuring it was best left alone. Though, he was leaning towards the reason of a skunked beer he could have drunken.

Possibly one day, he'd recognize the feeling, and give it its proper name.

Jealously.