I fell for your smile (Complete)

Ch 33: Selfish love

Time change and with time people change too. There was a time when it was Abhinav Raizada whose name was taken in reverence in the society, then came Adiraj and people looked at him in near worship. Wherever he went, he was in limelight. Media adored taking his pictures.

Then, he had accident and there were people daily coming to express their sadness. Then, Abhinav died, people expressed their sorrow. Shares of the Raizada and singhania group fell, people stopped calling her. When she won the legal fight, she received few congratulation calls.

When she succeeded in maintaining the five star ratings of both groups, few people expressed their surprise. When she launched new projects in Malayasia and Taiwan and succeeded, people tried to get into her good books. When she went to china to inaugurate first Singhania hotel, the media there praised her poise and her natural Chinese speaking skills. Clad in a red and gold saree, the signature colours of Singhania she had looked too delicate and beautiful to be the brain behind this whole project. People wanted to know more about her but unlike her husband she was more private. She only threw one party in a year and that was Digvijay's birthday party. It was done on a lavish scale but other than that she didn't socialise, her life was work and home.

There were few who wanted to know more personal details but they could unearth nothing. She wore Adiraj's vermilion on her forehead and every man she met knew after talking with her that her heart belonged to her husband. Her gaze was always disinterested, her smile reserved and polite, her words measured and to the point.

As Kiran grew stronger in power Rahul slowly pulled back and started to work on his own career. His visits to Adiraj became less often, Kiran didn't ask him the reason, she knew it herself. Because with each day passing, the man Adiraj on the bed became more of a body. The beauty gone, it was just a body which breathed.

It hurt her when she saw him wasting away but she couldn't afford the luxury to cry and stay with him all the time. Her son's future depended on her. Just like she had chosen Adiraj over her dad, she had to choose Digvijay over Adiraj.

Doctors had tried to tell her that the chances of him ever waking were very slim and one doctor had said that even if he woke up, he may never be able to be the same healthy man he once was and it was better, kinder to just let him go.

It hurt when others thought that she was selfish to keep Adiraj alive on machines but she couldn't give up on him. She would try as much as she could, sometime when she was talking to him, she would hold his hand just to remind herself that this was her Adiraj.

Five years had passed since he went into coma, she was everything now which her dad wanted her to be and everything which Adiraj had feared. A woman who had 50 lac people working under her administration in different countries. There were awards for woman which she won, she was ranked as one of the top 50 influential women of the millennium due to her ties with so many governments. She was a successful career woman

Her life was fairly monotonous but then, two things happened which broke the quiet.

First thing was her meeting Abhijeet again at a linguistic conference. He was same as she remembered him. Friendly, down to earth, willing to listen and very handsome. It felt like it was another life time when she had met him in university. It was good to talk to someone who had known her and Adiraj. Someone who knew their history.

There had been a look of pity when he had heard about Adiraj. Blunt as always he had told her,'' Think about yourself Kiran; he is gone and you have to accept it. Keeping him alive on machines is a disrespect to yourself and him.''

Hurt at his words she had left him and then called Rahul, trying to find solace in talking with Adiraj's best friend. She told him brokenly what doctors and abhijeet had said. Rahul had listened to her and then, he had replied,'' I know it is hard Kiran but I think they are right. You know I love Adiraj, I will always love him but that is just a body lying there. Not Adiraj. It's so hard to see him in this state. He was so proud, and I want to remember the man he was, someone who could enter a room and hold everyone in enthrall. I just didn't had the guts to say this to you. '

Kiran cut his call off and cried a lot, She wished Abhinav was alive, he would have understood her reasons. He would have been willing to keep him alive.

Then, the second thing happened. In the morning her eyes red, she had held the 7 year old Digvijay's hand as she went to Adiraj's room. Digvijay had copied the routine of taking blessing and then, sitting on seat he had looked down on the floor. Then, he had gotten his ipad open and started drawing something on it. She had tilted her head and looked what he was doing. He had drawn a picture of Adiraj and was writing now,''the mummy.''

Shocked, she had just sat there. This was not what she had wanted him to think. She looked at the man who was still sleep and asked digvijay to leave. She would never bring him here again.

She didn't went to office that day, and didn't sent digvijay to school. She gathered all of Adiraj's pictures, his videos, his tv appearances, and the wedding video. She showed them to her son. This was who his father was, someone who had larger than life personality.

At night, her heart aching she went down to his room and laid down on bed with him. After so many years, she felt as if her life had turned upside down. Abijheet, Rahul and Digvijay's action made her feel as if she was in wrong.

She was afraid to put her head on his shoulder for the fear the bones might fracture. So, she laid her head on bed and told him,'' Everyone says that you should die, they want me to take this step but I can't do it. I am not strong enough, you promised Adiraj, you told me that you will keep all your promises. You promised our son will have both his mother and father and now you are breaking the promise. He doesn't even know you.''

She raised her head and looked at his face, his skin was so taut like it was stretched over his face. She touched his face lightly, his eyelashes fluttered and then, he opened his eyes. Kiran felt her heart beat stop.