What You're Not | ✔

27. Rivals

After the train wreck of a night I had, going to another party wasn't something I had in mind.

Yet, there I was in the backseat of Chelsea's car, sandwiched between Kimber and the door. Jem sat up front and Riley sat on the other side of Kimber.

They all said that I should join them after the game, insisting that I needed a break from the fashion show preparations. They kind of had a point. Plus it would be a nice distraction from the fact that I'd probably be blackballed in the fashion community for being a flake.

Now, the girls sang along to "Sorry Not Sorry" by Demi Lovato as Chelsea drove.

Even though Westbrook had just lost the playoffs to Bellview, ending their season, the school still wanted to celebrate.

We were on our way to a teen club called Slam! and apparently everyone was going to be there. That included Miles.

The moment in the maze played on a loop in my head. All with alternative endings where I didn't run away like his lips were on fire. Each time the memory played it felt like an entire zoo was stampeding through my stomach.

The fact that I spent the every second since then wondering how his lips felt, how they tasted, meant I was in deeper than I thought.

Miles Hanson liked me.

I liked Miles Hanson.

Somehow, that wasn't enough for me to abandon all the rules I made for myself. No matter how much I wanted to forget everything that happened in the past and just live, I couldn't.

The fear of getting to a point of happiness and then having it ripped away was enough to keep me away. I'd gone through it once and I didn't think I could survive it happening again.

"We're here!" Chelsea announced over the singing and the girls cheered.

She parked the car and we all filed out, making our way into the club.

The place was packed with people dancing to the latest music or lounging in booths to observe.

All of my senses seemed to be dulled by the loud bass of the music and the flashing lights on the ceiling. I had never missed my room more than I did in that moment.

The four of us made our way through the crowds to get to a booth on the far side of the room. It was already occupied by Owen, Cameron and, of course, Miles.

I hadn't talked to him since I left Victoria's party. He messaged a few times, asking how the meeting went and where I ran off to. How was I supposed to tell him that he completely terrified me?

We all sat down and I strategically placed myself in a position where I couldn't accidentally lock eyes with Miles.

It's possible I was overreacting about the whole situation and not giving Miles enough credit. He could be fine with me dodging his kiss or he could not even remember it. He was drunk after all. Maybe not blackout drunk, but maybe just drunk enough that his memory was too fuzzy to remember if the moment had actually happened or if he'd imagined it. I wasn't even drunk and I felt like it was a dream.

"Ow!" I winced as a sharp pain shot through my upper arm.

Someone had pinched me and that someone was Riley.

"Geez, you completely zoned out us," she laughed and I realized the other girls were now watching me. "We're hitting the dance floor, you in?"

I really wasn't in a dancing mood. "Later," I told her.

She nodded and the four of them stood up to go.

"You guys too," Kimber ordered, pointing at the boys.