take care. {m.f}

22.

"What the hell is going on with you Tzipora?" Mark finally asked in a burst.

I knew when he had cursed at me, and addressed me with my full name, that he was serious, and very, very pissed.

"...Nothing.." I sat at the kitchen counter as Kelle paced.

"Nothing? Nothing! Nothing, Tzipora, Really?" He put his hands on his hips.

I shrugged. "...So...nothings going on? Absolutely nothing?" He stopped.

"Yes!"

He laughed, placing his hand over his eyes. "...You know how I know you're lying to me?" He looked at me again.

"..What?"

"You're lying to me! I see right through you and you don't even get it."

"Can you be more clear with me..." I looked at my phone.

"Can you be more clear," he scoffed, mimicking me. "You fucked Marquis! I heeeard you talking to Winter Baby..." he seemed to be on his last straw.

I couldn't even say anything. "Say something."

"Say something, that can keep me from leaving your ass." He added.

I gasped, Eyes tearing up.

"Great. Now you're crying. I'm the one who's being lied to, but you're crying!"

"....Say. Some. Thing."

I still didn't say anything.

"So...you wanna be honest with me now?... and come clean?" He sighed.

"...Markelle...I'm pregnant." I started crying.

He stopped in his tracks. "You're what...."

I swallowed spit, "...It's not yours." I sat my phone down, looking him in the eyes.

He paused for a few seconds, then instantly grabbed his jacket, keys, and left all in one instance.

He knocked a glass of water over. I wasn't even sure if it was out of anger, or because of how swiftly he moved.

I'd rather think it was an accident...

I got up, got on the tile floor, gathering the glass.

Broken, broken, broken.

•

Two days later.

"Yes...Just about two months."

"So...would you say you conceived about 12 to 13 weeks ago?" A woman asked.

"Yes ma'am."

"And you've already had your lab tests and examinations?"

"Yes..."

"Okay. Could you wait in the waiting room. It should only be fifteen minutes at the most dear."

"Thanks." I headed and sat back down with My Aunt. "...You can go...I wanna be alone....I'll get winter to pick me up."

"Sure?"

"..yes." I held back my tears.

She looked me in the eyes a few seconds before she grabbed her purse and coat, leaving.

_

"...How you feeling?" Winter finally asked.

We had been in the car, sitting silently for a solid three minutes.

"...As fine as I'll ever be." My voice sounded cracky and raspy.

She looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. "I just feel like...I failed the kid."

"I told Markelle it wasn't his...but I just assumed." I made sure I didn't let any tears out.

"But now...The doctor said the baby was younger than I thought...and thinking about it...that would mean it was Markelle's baby."

"Well just think of it this way, the fact that the baby was younger, should give you a bit more comfort."

"The lower the weeks, that means your baby wasn't even a baby yet. What I'm saying is...It wasn't developed. It had no sense of life, no thought, no heart, no legs, no ears, no breath..."

Tears rolled down my cheeks. "That only hurts worse."

"That means, because of me, it had no chance of ever feeling that...the feeling of life. Breathing the air, having a heartbeat, taking big steps, feeling pain, hearing sound...hearing the sound of your parents, loving each other." My voice cracked.

"I'm sorry..." she gulped.

"It's not your fault."

-

I laid in my bed, heating pad on my stomach, lights out, and tissue strewn on the bed, full of tears.

I had brutal cramps...but in a way I saw it as karma. For betraying my...What was not yet, child.

I laid there in deep thought and pain, not being able to sleep.

It had to be at least one in the morning. Then I heard a knock on my door.

I didn't utter a word until I saw Markelle step in slowly.

"..Hi." He sat.

I pretended to sleep, ashamed, not knowing what to say to him.

I kept thinking in my mind; do I just blurt out, 'I was pregnant with your baby, but I just went and got someone to kill the fetus, that came from you. A man in which I loved so much. A man that was so great, he almost deserved a crown just so he knew how great he was.'

A man, who was just so precious, and worth that it was like a damn blessing to say that he was your father.

A man, who I needed so much, but hurt so bad.

A man I could never not love.

•

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