South Park Oneshots

(Eric Cartman) You're an Asshole, Cartman!

_____ = name
(E/c) = eye color
(H/c) = hair color
(Y/f/b) = your favorite band

A/n: Eeeyo! I would like to say how thankful I am for all of you reading this and voting and whatever! It means a lot to me! If y'all want, you can comment a request of any South Park boy I should write about next :)

Alsooo, I hope y'all don't mind the new cover. I'll make another one but for now, that handmade cover will have to do!

Enjoy!

UPDATE: Stan Marsh oneshot coming up next!
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"Fuck you, Cartman! I can't believe you! You are an asshole like everyone says. I never, EVER want to talk to you again. Just leave me alone from now on!" The (e/c) eyed girl screamed ferociously at the round boy. She turned her heel and stormed from the Cartman house, leaving him and a lot others flabbergasted at the scene.

At the very moment, they were in the middle of battle between the elves and the humans. Kyle's army ambushed the Kingdom of Kupa Keep to retrieve the Stick of Truth. ____ had been one of KKK's most valuable warriors. She had accomplished amazing feats for the humans.

The (h/c) haired girl was fighting valiantly against the High Jew Elf, who's also her friend, Kyle. With his golf club and her wooden sword, they fought with great strength. Neither one of them wanted to lose. No way... Until Kyle had to go to his last resort to succeed.

The redheaded boy told her that the Grand Wizard King sold her expensive (y/f/b) ticket for some personal reason no one except Eric himself knows.

Well, it sure did the trick. The elves were able to grab the Stick and flee as the whole fiasco of pure anger was thrown onto the Wizard King.

Eric sat on his throne, lonesome in his fort in a daze. It is not because the Humans have lost the universe-changing object, but because of ____'s sudden hatred towards him. Sure, there has been a few occasions of squabbles here and there between the two but it would end up ok at the end of the day.

Since the day ____ moved to South Park, Eric had his eyes on her. He was completely head over heels for the new girl. When he realized his feelings for her, he became terrified. It was nothing like what he felt for Wendy that one, short time. Whenever he's around ____, he feels happier, he gets these massive butterflies, and just about anything anyone would get whenever they're with their crush.

He only sold the tickets because it fell on the day ____ moved to town a year ago. He planned something special for the girl for weeks to make sure everything was perfect. And at the end of the night, he was going to admit his feelings for her, whether how it could've ended. But now, all of that may be ruined because...

"KAHL!" He shouted to the sunset skies. He could feel his blood boiling with the rage he had cooped up within him.

"Aww, gee Grand Wizard. Lady ____ is awfully sore," Butters muttered while twiddling his thumbs. "And we lost the Stick of Truth."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT STUPID STICK!" He blown up. He tore off his hat off his head and threw it to the grassy ground. "I'm done! Game over, just go home." His people stared at him in shock. Never once did the Grand Wizard just give up on the game. With little hesitation, the kids left the backyard.

Princess Kenny and Paladin Butters stood at his side, slightly worried for his unstable mood. "Dude, you need to calm down," the blonde clad in a dress told his king.

"Calm down? _____ knows I sold her ticket and I only did it because it fell on the same day she first came here and..." Cartman stopped himself before confessing anything more. He turned away to go into his home. "Just go home guys."