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"It can't be that bad."
I was holding back a vomit, trying hard not to think about the heart I had just digested. I don't think it was the taste or anything along those lines.
The fact that it was Chaeyoung's...
"You're right." I coughed a bit, holding back a flexed groan. "It's fucking vile."
Taemin chuckled at me and patted at my shoulder. "Your baby is healthy, by the way. It's grown three inches in the past two hours."
I sighed mostly in relief.
I wanted to see her. Both the child and my counterpart now. But for some reason, I couldn't find it in me to face her. I tortured her. The woman I promised never to hurt. I was the one to watch her struggle, I was the one to watch her helpless cries, I was the one who committed it. Fuck, it was so hard. So fucking hard.
I wanted it to be fast but I barely had any control. Once it was done, all I wanted to do was leave. She couldn't even look at me let alone respond. She was rendered weak and pained because of me.
I don't know how I can make it up to her this time.
"Don't beat yourself up over it, Jimin. She's going to be fine." Taemin chuckled again at my distressed state. "You did a dangerous thing completing it before she gave birth though. Could've killed her and the baby, you know that."
"It was a sacrifice I choose to make."
"For her or for you?"
I looked down at my lap. Of all times I was being selfish, it had to be now. With her in my life and her life in my hands. I was greedy again.
The faster I made the process, the faster I could call her mine. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than glad I finally get to call Chaeyoung my own. The process is over— the hard part. Once my soul properly takes in her system and her body gets overwhelmed with the darker energy, everything will be set. It was wrong of me, yes, to take her heart out and risk the baby's birth but if that meant having Chaeyoung just that much closer to being a part of me, I did it.
I could've killed her.
I could've killed my child.
I was greedy and merciless. A feeling I had gotten unused to.
I didn't want to face her.
I feel ashamed in her presence now. I don't know to what extent my wife is capable of. And for the first time in this damned life of mine, I was fucking terrified.
"Want to see them?"
No.
"Jimin, stop it." Taemin smacked the back of my head viciously growling. "Your wife deserves better than trash like what you're being right now. If anything, she needs you."
