Lovin' Harlem

Ch. 10

Nicki's POV

                                "Titi what does adopt mean?" Harlem asked and splashed in the bubbles that filled the tub. She had bubbles in her hair and all over her face with a smile.

                                "It's when someone's mommy or daddy signs a paper and lets their child go live with someone else who loves them more than their mommy can show at the time..." I didn't intend to throw shade at Eva but it happened and I didn't want to take it back. Harlem tilted her head to the side in the most adorable way that always made me smile.

                                "And they never have to go back home?" She asked curiously.

                                "Nope. They stay with their new mommy and daddy forever," I smiled as her cheeks reddened and her smile widened. She knew she was a beautiful little girl, I told her every day. It was important for me to boost her confidence while she's young. I didn't have anyone around when Papa went to prison. After he left, the streets raised me.

                                "Oh...can you adopt me Titi? That way I can stay with you forever," Harlem's voice ripped the fresh Band-Aid from the wound of losing Nicolas 6 months ago. Since his passing, Eva's guilt pushed her to pawn Harlem onto me because she knew I would never turn my back. She got to run the streets with Junior while I raised her daughter. Listening to Harlem call Eva mommy burned me down to the bone. Giving birth doesn't make a woman a mother. Especially not Eva.

                                "You'll always be with me crazy girl,"

                I tried to shake the memory but I couldn't. All I could do was see her limp body in my arms the same way Nicolas's body laid when I found him in the tub. My heart was beyond heavy. It took everything I had in me to talk Terrell into staying at the hospital. The anger radiating from his body was explosive. I was afraid to touch him but tried anyway. He wiped his eyes and then crawled in the hospital bed with Harlem. The cords hanging from the machines made me nauseous. All I could see was Nicolas's dead body. I felt light headed, almost bad enough to pass out. Terrell hugged her body close to his and cried into her hair. Up until now I didn't know what true heartache was until I saw how vulnerable he was. I teared up instantly. Harlem didn't move. She didn't smile, laugh, or roll her eyes. She laid peacefully with a blank expression on her face. I walked closer to the edge of the bed and rubbed his back.

                                "I don't wanna lose her Nicki. I just found her...I swear to God I'm...I gotta go get Junior," Terrell sat up and swung his feet over the bed. The anger in his body burned my hands as I pulled on his arm. I could feel his emotions and that scared me.

                                "Terrell baby...you don't wanna...if Harlem...you want to be by her side if...if she doesn't wake up," I could barely get the words out of my mouth as I remembered that gut wrenching feeling of not being with my child when he took his last breath. Everything about this situation was overwhelming. My heart ached at the tears falling down his cheek. I felt physical pain in my chest. He melted in my arms as soon as I wrapped them around his body. Hearing him cry forced tears of my own to shed. It was hard to breathe and every time my eyes fell on Harlem's limp body, it got worse.

                After waiting for Harlem to wake up for two days, the doctor instructed us to go home and get some rest but it was hard. In between not wanting to be away from Harlem and helping Terrell get temporary custody, I didn't have any time for the shop. By now everyone heard what happened and Eva was laying low. Not once did she visit Harlem and that broke my heart. Junior was paying people not to snitch on his whereabouts but I had a feeling Terrell wasn't going to stop until Junior was dead. That scared me. It scare me because I didn't want to lose him the same way I lost my last boyfriend to a life sentence. That was the toughest pill to swallow, loving someone behind bars and knowing the chances of ever being together were nonexistent. I couldn't see that ending with Terrell, I refused to because he was different. I needed him to be as different as I thought he was because I was already falling for him. It was something I knew would happen the moment I saw how well he balanced Harlem out. Everything about him was perfect for me. His sweet and gentle personality was what attracted me to him but his sexy ass beard and chocolate skin was the icing on the cake.