Lovin' Harlem

Ch. 26

"I don't mean to be rude but hell nah, I'm not leavin' Harlem." Nicki barely gave me time to finish explaining the plan me and mama came up with. She wasn't hearing a word I said while she paced back and forth. Harlem was in the kitchen eating a late lunch and me, mama and Nicki sat in the living room trying to figure something out.

                                "Come on ma, be realistic. What's gon' happen if we get popped and Harlem get hit too? How you gon' feel then?" I reached for Nick's hand but she pulled it away quickly. This side of Nicki was new to me.

                                "And what if somethin' happen to her and I ain't there to say bye? Nah, Terrell. I can't leave Harlem. I don't even wanna leave my sister..." Nicki's voice wasn't angry anymore but scared. She was afraid to leave Harlem because of her son. I knew it as soon as she finished talking. Her eyes had tears in them. Mama walked away and let me take Nicki's hand, leading her into Harlem's bedroom. I closed the door and pulled her into my arms. As soon as her head made contact, she broke down and for the first time, Nicki had no control over her emotions.

                                "Listen ma...I know you ain't gon' wanna hear this shit but I gotta say it anyway. Harlem ain't safe with us as long as the cops think we killed that nigga. They gon' be comin' after us hardcore. That ain't a place for Harlem...my mama ain't gon' let shit happen to her. That's my word,"

                                "Accidents happen, Terrell..." Nicki whispered. My arms were still wrapped around her body, pulling her close. She sniffled a few times and wiped at her eyes.

                                "You trust me?"

                                "Don't do this Terrell...this ain't bout trustin' you. You know I trust you." Nicki pulled away and shook her head. "I'm not leavin' Harlem here and that's that. You might as well stop trynna bat them thick ass eye lashes at me cause it ain't gon' work." Nicki turned to leave the bedroom when there was a sudden knock on the front door. She froze in place and so did I. My heart started crashing against my chest all over again. I had a bad feeling and when Nicki looked at me, I knew she felt it too.

                 I listened closely as mama spoke to another officer with confidence. I didn't hear anything about a search warrant until the end of the conversation. As soon as I heard the woman tell mama she would be back with a search warrant, I knew we had to act fast. There wasn't fear in Nicki's eyes though. She didn't seem phased.

                                "You know Mari ain't gon' let us leave without her, right?" Nicki said as the bedroom door opened. Mama looked almost as calm as Nicki sounded. She looked from me to Nicki and then back at me. After a few seconds, she sighed and motioned for us to follow her. Harlem was playing with her bowl of chicken noodle soup instead of eating it when we entered the kitchen. She smiled as soon as she saw Nicki and that made my chest burn.

                                "Titi, we goin' to the beach now?" Harlem's eyes sparkled at Nicki as she went to pick her up from the chair. I could see tears spilling over and running down Nicki's cheeks even with her trying to hide them. Reality was hitting her in the chest.

                                "Um...babe...the beach um..." Nicki struggled to come up with a lie. When Harlem flashed her eyes in my direction, I opened my mouth to pick up where Nicki left off but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to lie to Harlem. So mama stepped in quickly.

                                "Ya'll didn't tell her the beach closed down for a few days?" mama had Harlem's attention now. She pouted and folded her arms before getting an attitude. Her cheeks were light pink and covered with slight frustration. All she wanted to do was go to the beach like we promised.

                                "Nuh uh...the beach doesn't close,"

                                "It does when there's sharks. They were going to go help catch the sharks. Did you want to go?" mama asked and emptied the bowl of soup into the sink. Harlem shook her head rapidly.

                                "No thank you! So they can eat me? Titi? What's the matter?" Harlem wiped the tears from Nicki's cheeks and then gave her a kiss. It made Nicki cry harder. They stood for a few minutes wrapped in each other's arms before I felt like it was time to leave. Harlem didn't know we were saying goodbye and that made it even harder. I'm not sure how mama knew to lie about the sharks but it worked. After mama convinced Harlem to go play in her room, we all went downstairs to see how Marisol was doing. She was no longer passed out on the pool table. Instead, she was standing close to the back door beside the garage door.

                Nicki approached her first and then me and mama. As much as Marisol drunk from the bottle that was now empty, I didn't think she would be able to stand up straight. But I was proven wrong. She was a functioning alcoholic. Marisol turned and faced us with a smile. She hugged Nicki first before returning her attention back to me.

                                "I cleaned up the table...thank you for takin' care of my arm. And bringin' me here." Marisol said quietly. Mama nodded her head eagerly and so did I. When Nicki's eyes fell on me, they softened even though I knew she was still upset.

                                "We should probably get out of here..." I tried not to ruin the moment but time was precious and any minute, the cops would be knocking down the front door with a search warrant for our arrest.

                                "Well I'm ready, let's go," Marisol said steadily. Nicki smirked and shook her head before turning her back so I could deal with the situation on my own. She pulled mama into a hug but I couldn't hear what they were saying to one another because they were talking quietly on purpose. I started to tell Marisol she couldn't join us but closed my mouth instead.

                                "I've been shot before. It's just a little burn, I'm okay. I know how to clean it myself. Let's go," Marisol pushed us into the garage. Nicki didn't say a word until after mama and I hugged one more time. I swallowed the lump in my throat and ignored the urge to run inside and give Harlem one more hug. It felt like we were saying goodbye for good and I hated that. Is this how Nicki felt? Scared she'd never see Harlem again? Nicki put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently.

                                "I don't want to leave her either...but...it's only for a few days..."

                                "Now we can get the rest of that money." Marisol chimed in as the garage door opened. I expected to see a street full of cops but thankfully, there was no one waiting for us on the other side of the door. We left quickly.

                                "What money? We got everything out of Eva's safe..." I was quick to comment back because Marisol now had Nicki's attention and I could see things taking a turn before it even got to that point. Nicki turned in her seat and then smiled at her sister.

                                "From Junior? We was just gon' let his grandmamma keep the money." Nicki's interest in the conversation made me nervous. Even though we agreed to leave the money, I knew all it would take for her to change her mind was Marisol. And that's exactly what happened. I sat in the driver's seat excluded from the conversation and I was pissed.

                                "We're leavin' her the money. Foreal, Nicki. We already discussed it," I dead panned. Nicki nodded her head and then glanced in the back at Marisol.

                                "He's right. We already talked about it..."

                                "He owes you after killing Nic if you ask me. His whole family does. But okay, whatever. Where we goin'?" Marisol sat in the backseat with a smirk. Seeing Harlem's car seat next to her made my chest ache for Harlem to be with us. It didn't feel right at all not having her with me. Nicki was stunned in her seat. Her eyes were staring straight ahead but she wasn't looking at anything. Marisol was playing mind games with Nicki right in front of me. I thought I could bring her out of it by changing the subject but an hour and miles up the highway later, Nicki turned to face Marisol with the devil's eyes.

                                "We gotta leave Junior's family with nothin' like he left me..."