Lovin' Harlem

Ch. 29

           

Nicki's POV

                                "Mama, I can't sleep." Nicolas crawled in my bed and pulled the comforter over his head. It was thundering but there wasn't a thunderstorm just yet. He didn't like storms. I smiled and fluffed his pillow the way he liked and when he smiled at me, I pulled him in my arms and kissed his forehead.

                                "What you watchin' mama? What is that?" he pointed to the TV and pushed his curls from his face.

                                "I don't know, I wasn't watchin' it; I was on my phone. But it looks like somethin' bout prison. Wanna turn?" I handed him the remote but he shook his head. He flashed me a smile and made my heart skip a beat. Even though he had D-Low's smile, I loved seein' it more than anything.

                                "Prison? What is prison? They look mean, mama," he put his attention on the TV screen while I admired his button nose and how he unintentionally squished his lips together in concentration. I chuckled and pulled my eyes away from his beauty and glanced at the TV. He was right, the men on the screen did look mean with tattoos all over their bodies and most of them were throwing gang signs up. Seein' the men on TV reminded me of D-Low and that made my skin crawl.

                                "Prison is where they put bad people so they don't hurt perfect little boys like you, Nic."

                                "Are they all mean?" he questioned and finally batted his eye lashes at me. I turned the channel to somethin' more kid friendly and nodded my head. The thunder outside made Nic inch closer to my body.

                                "Maybe, I don't know baby. Let's say your prayers and go to sleep. We're goin' to Auntie Eva's tomorrow for dinner,"

                                "Okay mommy. I'll pray for the bad people too," he closed his eyes and wrapped his tiny hands around my wrist. I swallowed the lump in my throat and closed my eyes too.

                                "Dear Jesus, thank you for my mommy and my Auntie Eva and my Harlem and please keep the bad people in prison and away from me and mommy. Thank you Jesus. Amen. Goodnight mommy,"

                Tears burned my eyes and anger sat in every bone in my body. Missin' Nicolas and sittin' in the small holdin' cell had me rememberin' everything about the last night we ever cuddled. I still remember the way he held me all night because he was afraid of the weather outside. That night he fell asleep with his head snuggled in my neck almost as soon as he finished his prayers. If I would have known that was the last time we would lay with each other, I would have never taken him to Eva's apartment.

                I couldn't think about anything other than Nicolas and how limp his body was when I found him. My thoughts were so jumbled and distractin', I barely remember how I actually ended up in the jail cell. I felt numb. As loud as it was, my thoughts silenced everything around me and left me with more anger than I knew what to do with. But I couldn't cry. I didn't have any more tears left.

                                "You goin' down for chow? You've been here for a few days and haven't eaten anything." The voice belonged to my cell mate but I couldn't remember her name. She was smaller than me and way too eager to be my friend with long blonde hair that she kept in a ponytail but she was right. I hadn't eaten in two days but I wasn't thinkin' about food.

                                "I'll save you a spot next to me girl," she smiled and then left the cell while I stared at the wall blankly. There was so much on my mind, food wasn't one of them but I knew I needed to eat. So I climbed out of the bottom bunk and walked over to the dirty ass mirror. I knew I had bags under my eyes and my skin probably looked like shit but the mirror wouldn't even let me see that. A few seconds passed with me starin' at the smeared mirror and when I felt tears cloudin' my vision, I splashed water on my face and turned to join my cell mate downstairs.