Chapter 8

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Warning!! There is child molestation and rape in this chapter!!! If any of that triggers or offend you, then feel free to skip ahead!! I am in no way trying to condone or expose child molestation in anyway!! This is purely for the story! Other than that, enjoy!!!


I sit on the floor in my room, playing with Harry. I take a toy truck and sit Harry on top of it, pretending to make him drive around. It's been 3 months since my mom died and I've slowly been getting better. Caleb plays with me and whenever I'm sad, he would sing to me, just like mom used to.
The door to my room creaks open and I look up to see my dad. Fear sets in immediately and I unconsciously try to shrink away from him. "It's time for bed bug," he says. I nod nervously and stand up. I put my toys away and sit Harry on top of my bed. I take out my Power Rangers footie pajamas and change into them.
My door opens again and I see Caleb. He looks sad though. His eyes are red and puffy. He looks like he's been crying. Caleb sits down on my bed next to me and I lean into him. "What wrong Caleb?"
He looks at me and smiles softly. "I just wanted to say goodnight." I smile at him and hop under my covers. Caleb tucks me in and kisses my forehead. When he pulls away, I look at him curiously. "Caleb, why were you crying?" He looks surprised for a second. "How did you-"
"You're eyes are red and puffy," I say cutting him off. Caleb looks at me for a second then chuckles. "You're way too observant for your own good." That was the same thing that mom used to say to me. She said that I always noticed things that other kids never noticed.
"So why were you crying," I ask again. Caleb shakes his head. "I just miss mom." I nod and the room goes silent. I miss mom too. I miss how she used to hold me whenever I was sad or scared. I miss her kind smiles. I miss her hugs and kisses. I just miss mom.
Caleb kisses my head again. "Goodnight Jace." He stands up and opens the door. "Goodnight," I say. Caleb closes the door and I slowly fall asleep.
      When I wake back up, I notice that I'm not in my bed. I shoot up and look around me. A large figure lays next to me and I jump out of bed. My mind is going a thousand miles a minute and I'm freaking out. Where the heck am I? Who is this person next to me? Where's Caleb?
      The figure begins to move and it sits up. They reach over and turn on a lamp. Light floods the room and I squint at the sudden blindness. Once my eyes adjust, I look at the person who was laying next to me. It's my dad. For a second, I think that it would better to wake up with a complete stranger than with him. My dad turns around and looks at me. "Jace," he calls out.
     I don't want to be near him. I want him to go away. I want Caleb. He'll protect me. I sink to the floor and begin to cry. My dad gets out of the bed and rushes over to me. He gently picks me up and I begin. To cry even harder. He sits on the bed, sitting me across his lap. I cry as he tries to soothe me.
     "Jace, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare? It's okay, daddy's here." He pulls me close to him and holds me tightly. I keep on crying as he tries to wipe away my tears. Soon, my body gets tired and I stop crying.
    My dad takes that as a good sign and kisses my cheek. I sit there as he kisses my cheek I feel like I want to throw up. His kisses move down from my cheek to my neck. He kisses, sucks, and bites. He bites me particularly hard and I cry out.
     My dad lays me down on his bed. "I'll make you feel better bug," he whispers. I shake my head no. I don't want this. He zips down my footie pajamas and takes them off. When my dad goes to remove his pants, I reach up and grab his hand.
     "Dad, I don't want to do this," I say weakly. "It hurts." His eyes soften and I think that he is going to stop until he kisses my mouth. "I won't make it painful bug. I'll make you feel good."
      He takes off his pants and now, he is completely nude. As he takes off my underwear, I begin to struggle. My dad growls and grabs my face roughly. "Stop it. Don't make me angry Jace." My dad's mean voice has always scared me, and it still scares me now. I nod weakly and he continues.
     He kisses the inside of my thighs and moves up my body to my neck. I look at the wall when I know what's coming next. He had only done this part to me one of time, and it hurt like fuck. It feels like a needle is stabbing me, so that's what I imagine it as. My mom had always told me that whenever I get a needle, it won't hurt as long as I look away. I stare at the wall when I feel him begin to push into me. It hurts so bad. Tears leak out of my eyes and I want so badly for him to stop. But he doesn't.
     He's fully inside of me now and I feel like I'm being split in half. I feel the familiar wetness of blood running down my legs. He pushes in and out of me, and with each thrust I feel my skin being ripped apart. He takes my face and forces me to look at him. I look into his eyes.
      This is my dad. This is the man who was supposed to protect me. He was supposed to make sure that no one hurt me, yet here he is hurting me himself. What a fucked up world this is. Hot lava feels like it is being released into me and I scream as my dad moans. He collapses on top of me.
       As I lay there, I want to curl up and die. It's a fucked up thing for a 10 year old to think, but that's my reality. The Who was supposed to protect me ended up being the reason why I want death. What a truly fucked up world we live in, indeed.

             ++++++++++++++++++++++++

     My body is covered in sweat when I wake up. I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I splash the cold water onto my face, letting it wake me up. I have to work in the morning but right now, I couldn't care less.
      When I leave out of the bathroom, I curiously peak into Caleb's room. He isn't there and I begin to grow worried. He can't still be at work. A loud grunt from downstairs startled and I jump. I go downstairs to see Caleb sitting on the couch. His head is back and I think he's asleep until I notice that his eyes are wide open. In his hand, rests a bottle of vodka.
       I walk to Caleb and he sits up. He notices me and smiles. "Caleb, what the fuck are you doing," I ask gesturing to the bottle of vodka. Caleb laughs loudly. "What does it look like? I'm living life to the fullest."
       "You have work in the morning," I point out. Caleb just laughs again and says, "Fuck that job. Why should I care about work anyway? I mean, everything I do always gets thrown back at my face in the form of a fucking brick!" His voice raises and he's yelling.
       His words are drunk ramblings, but I let him continue. "My old rapist is back to come and visit me and there's nothing I can do. You know, I went by the police station today. I told them about Mason, and you know what they said? They said that they had a record on him already but they just can't find him. This fucker is just running around and they're barely doing anything."
     I never knew the name of this guy. I guess his name is Mason. Caleb never told me his name. He always referred to him as 'that monster' or 'dad's friend'.
       Caleb grunts and brings the bottle to his lips. "Caleb that's enough," I say. I reach out and take the bottle from his grasp. "Hey!" He yells. He tries to grab the bottle but I put it behind my back.
       Caleb glares at me and chuckles. "I'm not surprised that you wanna ruin my fun. You just showed up outta nowhere and suddenly my life went to shit. Kyle is dead now. You brought dad to me and now he's ruining my life now too." I know that he doesn't mean it but his words still hurt me. The phrase 'a drunk man's talk is a sober man's thought', runs through my head. I try to shake it from my head, but my eyes still water.
       I grab Caleb arm. "Come on, lets get you to bed." Caleb protests for a while but eventually, I get him to come upstairs. I don't even let him change his clothes. I just tell him to get into bed.
     Caleb looks up at me drunkenly. "I love you so much Jace. Goodnight." I don't reply and pull the cover up on him. He's fast asleep and I leave out of the room, closing the door behind me. I lean against his door for awhile. I don't let the tears spill.
      So that's all I am to Caleb. I'm just a burden who ruined his life. He's right. I got Kyle killed and now dad and Mason are both after him. It's all my fault. I stand up and walk back into my own room. I don't get sleep for the rest of the night.
    

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