Chapter 23

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      I punch Mike hard against his chest. "Damn you!" I punch him again but he does nothing. He just sits there and lets me hit him. His face is unreadable and his lips are set in a firm line.
     "Why would you stop me," I yell. Mike doesn't say anything. This only makes me angrier as I let my fist run across his face. Mike still doesn't say anything. I continue my assault on him until my arms grow tired. I fall on my knees and stare at the ground hopelessly. Mike kneels down in front of me and I can finally see his face. He holds a look of painful regret. "I'm sorry Jace."
      "Then why? Why would you stop me," I repeat. He looks me in the eye. "Because I couldn't let them kill you." His voice is deep and almost angry. His eyes are lit with a fire in them that I have never seen before. He looks threatening. Had he been anyone else, I would have been terrified. But I don't have to be. This is Mike, he won't hurt me.
      Mike stands up and grabs my arms, making me stand with him. "Come on," he says. "We have to tell the cops." I nod as he leads me back into the house. Mike dials the Detectives' number on his phone as I stand in the living room. My eyes wander to the rock used to hit Caleb. My mind grows worried and nervous. I know who did this. And if wants to hurt Caleb, then he will. I'm not there to stop him like I did last time. I can only hope that once we do find Caleb, he'll be alright.

           ++++++++++++++++++++++++++

      Detective Robinson stares at me for a moment in shock and I stare right back at her, our eyes meeting. I feel weird under her stare and I shift nervously in my seat. She clears her throat.
     "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. It's just so strange seeing you look me in the eye after all this time." I smile and tell her it's okay even though her staring was starting to creep me out.
      "Now then, could you guys describe what happened?" Me and Mike tell the Detectives everything that happened as they write down on a notepad. When we're finished, Detective Robinson looks up at me. "You know who did this don't you?" I nod my head.
     "Yeah I know." She sighs and sits the notepad on the metal table. Mike looks at me worriedly but I avoid his gaze. My dad and Mason kidnapped Caleb. Tears water in my eyes but I don't let them fall. I won't cry here. Crying would be pointless. I can't do anything so I just have to stay strong and let the Detectives do their jobs.
       Suddenly, I hear a growl from beside me. Mike slams his fist down on the table, making me jump. "Why the hell are you guys just standing there?" He glares at the Detectives. "Go out there and do your damn jobs! This is the second time that someone's been kidnapped and you're just standing there like you have all the time in the world!"
    Detective Johnson has a scary aura to him as he looks at Mike. He looks like he's planning his death in his head. Mike doesn't seem afraid though and looks right back at him. "In case you haven't noticed, we've been doing our jobs this entire time. I don't see you risking your life to find a criminal every damn day. So when you actually know what you're talking about, then you can talk to me." Detective Johnson walks out, slamming the door behind him.
"He's just upset," Detective Robinson says. "Don't mind him." I nod but Mike doesn't say anything. "We're taking you to a hotel for the night. We'll escort you there later."
Mike crosses his arms and sits back against the chair. I can tell that he's still upset. My dad is taking a toll on all of us. It's not just me. Caleb is my brother but Mike is just as concerned about him as he is about me. Over the weeks, they've gotten really close. It's my fault that Caleb's gone. Part of me wishes that I had just stayed with my dad rather than get him arrested. If I had stayed with him, no one would have to go through all of this heartache. It seems like I bring more problems than help solve them.
Once Detective Johnson cools down, they take us to a small hotel that I've never been to. The room that we'll sleep in is fairly large. There's too beds and a balcony that's right outside of the window. The living room is large with a big flatscreen tv. I turn to Mike who's talking to Detective Robinson.
I walk into the bathroom and close the door, sitting on the floor leaning against it. I just want to be alone right now. Caleb and his safety are all I can think about. I just want for him to be safe. If something happened to him, I would never forgive myself. A few weeks ago, I had thought about cutting. It was a painful experience and I don't know how but I managed to overcome my urge.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I let my fingers gently skim the wall as I walk. I know my way upstairs so I don't have to worry about falling or bumping into anything. Caleb and Mike are asleep so I'm very careful to make sure that my footsteps are quiet. They're probably so exhausted from trying to help me make my way downstairs, which of course, I couldn't do. Fresh tears run down my cheeks as I walk. Eventually, my fingers brush against a cold doorknob. I turn the knob and walk in.
I lean against the sink of the bathroom. My shoulders are hunched over and my breathing is fast. I can hear my tears falling into the sink. They create a small echo that only I can hear. I can't see them though. I can't see anything. There's only darkness. My sight reminds me of my life. I've been covered in darkness my entire life. There hasn't been a trace of light. I thought that once I'd move in with Caleb, the darkness would disappear. But it hasn't. Instead, it has only continued to swallow me whole.
I carefully bend down so that I'm facing the cabinet under the sink. I let my hands skim across the wood until they reach the knob. I open the cabinet and reach in so that my arm is almost completely inside of the small cabinet. My fingers touch something small and metallic. I quickly pick up the item and stand back up.
The razor feels like it weighs a ton as I hold it. I pull the sleeve of my shirt up and hold the razor against my arm. I can feel the metal pressing against my skin. It is cold and enticing. My arm begs for me to let it feel the sweet relief of a fresh cut.
My hand is shaking as I hesitate. I want to do it. I want to feel the razor slide across my skin. So, why can't I do it? Why am I hesitating? I've done this before and I can do it again? My hand is shaking rapidly. I can hear Caleb's voice in the back of my mind telling me not to cut. I want to shut it out but I can't. The voice just becomes louder and louder. I can't take it anymore. I throw the razor away from me and lean against the bathroom door. The voice is silent. My head is in my heads and I cry silently.
Rather that trying to cut again, I leave the bathroom, skimming my hand against the wall as I walk and go back to sleep.
      +++++++++++++++++++++++++++

     My phone rings, snapping me out of my reverie and I take it out of my pocket. I can't see who's calling due to my vision being blurry, so I just answer it. "Hello?"
"Well hello cutie." At the sound of Mason's voice, my blood runs cold. "How did you get my number," I ask. Even I can hear the fear in my voice. There's no doubt that Mason is enjoying the sound of it. Regardless of his clear amusement, he answers. "Well that doesn't matter right now cutie. I have a message for you."
My heart stops and my hand shakes as I hold the phone. The last time Mason related a 'message' to me, my dad showed up. I can only imagine what he'll say this time. I breathe deeply. "What is it?"
"Come meet me at Holland Avenue at 11:30. That is if you want your brother back." My breath hitches at the sound of Caleb's name. "Caleb," I whisper. Mason chuckles.
"Yes. I don't want to see any cops or that boy toy of yours, Mike." I scowl at how he refers to Mike being a 'boy toy', but I let him continue. "If I see anyone with you or if you tell anyone about our meeting, let's just say that Caleb won't exactly make it to see Morning." My chest is tight. I can't just leave Mike without a word. Seeing Mason is dangerous on its own, but I know for a fact that he will take me to my dad. Unless he just wants to use me as his personal punching bag. I shiver at the thought.
"And if I don't meet you," I ask. "What happens then?"
"Caleb dies," he replies automatically. Sweat beads down my face. I'm at a real disadvantage. Either way I put it, Caleb is in trouble. My decision is stupid but I can't just leave Caleb to die. "Okay," I say. "I'll come."

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