Dancing With The Devil

Chapter 19

I sit in the car next to Mike while Caleb talks to the Doctor outside. I was just discharged and the Doctor is telling Caleb everything that he needs to know about taking care of me. I already know what he's saying about me since he told me earlier before Mike and Caleb came to the hospital. I had to force them to go home and get some rest. They were determined to stay with me, but I forced them to go home, complaining about how much they stunk. They had stayed overnight almost everyday with me for the past 2 weeks. Yes, I can finally tell the time. Although I can't see the sunrise, I asked a nurse the time every time she came into my room. It got pretty annoying after a while but I couldn't care less. I think back to what the Doctor told me earlier.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Now if your vision does come back, it won't come back all at once," Dr.Monroe says. "First, your vision will be blurry and distorted. That could last for a few days. Then after your vision becomes clear, you'll be temporarily near-sighted. That could last for a few days or a few months. It really depends on the person."
I nod along with the Doctor to show that I'm listening.
"Now Jace," he continues. "There's no telling when your vision will come back. I don't want you getting frustrated over it. And no matter what, try not to strain your eyes. That could make the recovery process longer." He puts his hand on my leg and I flinch away. The Doctor doesn't seem to mind though because he doesn't sigh or say anything.
If only I could see his face, I would be able to know his reaction. I hope that I didn't upset him with my jumpiness.
"Do you think my vision will ever come back," I ask quietly. I'm nervous about his answer. There's a painful silence and I'm already prepared to hear the worse.
"I don't know," he sighs. My shoulders sag. I should've known that he would say that. As a Doctor, he isn't supposed to give his opinion. He gives us the facts, whether we like it or not. And the fact is that he just doesn't know.
"I'm speaking here honestly Jace. It's hard to tell right now. I want you to come back in a few weeks so that we can do a check-up. Maybe then, we'll be able to see what we're dealing with. But right now, it's just a matter of time." I nod and smile.
"Thank you for everything you've done," I say kindly. I attempt to block out the sadness in my mind but I fail miserably. It sounds like I'm giving up. Maybe I am.
Dr.Monroe puts his hand back on my leg and this time, I don't flinch away. "Don't give up Jace. I can tell that you're not a quitter. Don't let this discourage you." I nod and try to hold back my tears. I give Dr.Monroe a big fake smile to show him that I won't give up like he said. I can only hope that he took the bait and smiled back.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The car door opens and someone sits down in the front seat. "You ready to go," Caleb asks. I nod excitedly, smiling. "Let's get the fuck out of here." Caleb and Mike chuckle and we pull off.
As we're driving, Caleb begins to speak. "Jace we're living in a new house." My ears perk and I look up. "Where at?" That was a stupid question. What's the point of asking that if I can't even see it. Regardless of my stupidity, Caleb answers.
"Somewhere he can't find us," Caleb says angrily. I can hear the rubber on the steering wheel squeak as he grips is harshly. "We're in the next town over. We'll be living there until all of this is over. Hopefully, it'll end by the time summer is over. If not, then you'll be homeschooled." I nod and sit back into the seat.
I don't really mind being homeschooled. With everything going on at school, like the bullying and that website about me that still hasn't been put down, I actually wanted to be homeschooled. The only reason that I didn't bring it up is because I didn't want to leave Ali. Speaking of which, I need to call her.
"Hey," Mike yells suddenly. "I think that you forgot to tell him the best news!" I look at Mike expectantly. "I'm moving in with you guys!" I raise my eyebrows. I'm surprised that Caleb could even be in the same room as Mike, let alone let him move in with us.
     "I thought that you said he was bad for me," I say with a hint of sarcasm. Caleb sighs. "I didn't. But I do trust him now. He has a lot to prove to me." Mike scoffs, interrupting Caleb. Caleb ignores him and only continues. "But, I think that eventually, I'll be able to trust him fully."
     I feel Mike put his hand on top of mine and he squeezes it tightly. I turn my head in his direction. I try to look at him but with the bandages still wrapped around my eyes, I can only see darkness. I reach up and try to find his face. I have to search around for a while but eventually, I find it. I feel his lips and they are turned upwards. He's smiling. I smile back and let my hands rest in my lap.
      We drive for a few hours before finally coming to a stop. The door opens and Caleb gets out of the car. Mike holds my hand and opens the door and steps out. He tugs slightly on my hand, silently telling me to come on. I slide over the seat and get out of the car. I hold onto Mike's hand tightly since I don't know where I'm at. I can hear Mike chuckle and I glare at him.
      He leads me up a set of steps and Caleb opens what I assume to be the front door. They both lead me inside and sit me down on a large sofa. I can hear them both shuffle around the house. "What are you two doing," I ask.
     "Just unloading some boxes," Caleb replies. "Can I help?" Caleb goes silent and replies to me, "I don't know if that's a good idea Jace. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
      "Oh." I look down at my hands. I should've known that I couldn't help. What would I do other than being in the way? If this is what being blind is like, then I guess I'll just have to get used to it. I hope this isn't permanent.

      +++++++++++++++++++++++++++

     I lay my head on Mike's shoulder as we sit in the living room watching tv. Earlier, Mike and Caleb lead me around the house, introducing me to all of the rooms and where they are. I mentally took note of where everything is the house is, including its direction and how many steps one item was from the other. I asked Caleb and Mike to try and leave things in the same place so that I could use them to guide me around the house. They both agreed and told me that it was a good idea.
      I know that it'll take me a while to try and memorize where everything in the house is but for right now, I just want to get a feel for things. My brain felt like it was getting turned into mush trying to stuff so much information into it.
      I hear heavy footsteps as Caleb walks downstairs and into the living room. "Are you ready to take off your bandages." I nod my head excitedly. I sit up from Mike's shoulder. Caleb sits on the couch next to me and his hand go to the back of my head. They undo the knot keeping the bandages in place and already, I can feel the bandages loosen up. Caleb swiftly removes the bandages from my eyes. Even when they're completely off, my eyes are firmly closed. I'm nervous to open my eyes. Part of me is hoping that when I open them, my vision will be completely fine. That I'll be able to see Mike and Caleb's faces. But the other part of me knows that that's only wishful thinking. Slowly but surely, I open my eyes and soon, they're completely open.
      Darkness.
      I don't know why, but the tears still come. They run freely down my face, wetting my cheeks. "Why am I crying," I whisper. "I'm so sick of crying!" I slam my hands down on the couch angrily. Why did I think that anything would happen? I heard the Doctor. Even he said that he didn't know if my vision would return, so why am I acting like this is new?
      I cry into my hands and someone pulls me into their chest. "Don't cry Jace," Caleb says. "Just have hope. Your vision will come back. I know it will."
      I just cry into Caleb because even though I know that they're here and their kind words surround me, in my eyes, I'm just surrounded by darkness.