Dancing With The Devil

Chapter 28

My body is numb, and I feel like I'm dying. I don't think that my heart is beating anymore. If it is, then it is nothing more than a dull throb in my chest. It's barely enough to keep me alive. Caleb is heavy as his full weight now rests on my legs. Tears leak down my eyes and onto his pale face. He doesn't twitch, or even attempt to wipe at the liquid on his face. It seems like time stops as I hold onto Caleb's body. The sound of sirens and people yelling are like quiet whispers in my ears. I continue to stare at Caleb's face. His eyes don't even look at mine anymore.
A hand wraps around my arm and pulls me up. When I realize that they're pulling me away from Caleb, I begin to freak out. I scratch at the arm pulling me, and the person winces. I ignore them and reach out to Caleb. "Let go of me! That's my brother!" Tears run down my face at a steady rate. Paramedics run past me and surround Caleb. They shout things at each other, but I can't hear it over my own yelling. Someone wraps their arms around my waist, and picks me up. I try to kick at the person, but they're way stronger than me. They continue to carry me away from Caleb despite my cries and pleas.
"Jace, please calm down," a voice says. I recognize that voice. I turn around to see Detective Johnson. He has bags under his eyes and I can see the glistening of unshed tears in his eyes. My body goes limp and he lets me go, letting me fall to the ground. My knees are on either side of me and my arms wrapped around me tightly. I must look a pitiful mess, but I couldn't care less. I watch numbly as paramedics lift Caleb on a gurney, and put him in the ambulance. I'm about to stand up to go with them, when Detective Johnson puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. "That's my brother," I growl out. I shove his hand off of me, and run to the ambulance.
The paramedics look at me strangely. I glare at them and just say, "He's my brother. I'm coming with him." They look at each other, before quickly nodding. The doors to the ambulance close, and we pull off.
Caleb lays on the gurney. His eyes are closed now, and a paramedics puts a oxygen mask over his mouth. I take Caleb's limp hand into my own and squeeze it tightly. "Please be okay Caleb," I whisper. "You can't die on me."
     When we get to the hospital, the paramedics rush out of the ambulance, and inside. As they're running one of the paramedics yell out something that almost makes collapse. "We're losing him! I don't feel a pulse!" They run even faster towards a room labeled 'Operation Room'. I try to follow them into the room, but a nurse holds me back. I yell and scream, begging them to let me inside. They push onto my chest, keeping me away from Caleb.
     There's a ringing so loud in my ears that makes it feel like my ears are bleeding. I clutch at my head in pain, and my chest tightens unbearably. My knees buckle, and I fall to the floor. The nurse screams for help, but I can barely hear her. My body feels like it's collapsing from the inside out, and I struggle for breath. I look at the doors of the Operation Room when my vision goes black.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I lay in the hospital bed, an IV attached to my arm, and tears running down my cheeks. When we arrived to the hospital, doctors insisted that I needed immediate medical treatment. I fought and begged for Caleb, but they dragged me into a room. Caleb was pulled into the operating room, and I haven't seen him since. I don't know how long I've been here, but I don't care. I just want to see Caleb and make sure that he's okay. My heart is practically jumping out of my chest in nervousness and fear. At the thought of something bad happening to Caleb, tears gather in my eyes.
I take a deep breath and try to calm down. Caleb wouldn't want me to worry like this. He'll be okay. He has to be.
Footsteps run into the room and I look up. A person stands in the doorway of the room, but before I can get a good look at them, arms wrap tightly around my body. Sobs wrack their body as they hold onto me, and their tears spill onto my shoulder. "I'm so sorry," the person says. It's Mike. I hug Mike tightly, relief taking over my entire body. "I'm so so sorry! I shouldn't have let you go! I'm such an idiot!"
I grab Mike's face and bring his lips onto mine, silencing him. We kiss for a few moments, and when I pull back, I wipe away the tears spilling out of his eyes. "It's not your fault," I say quietly. "I chose to leave. If it was anyone's fault, then it's mine." He hugs me tightly again, almost cutting off my breathing, but I don't complain. It feels good to have someone hug me again who doesn't want to use me.
Mike sits on the bed next to me, and I put my head on his shoulder. He slides his hand into mine, holding it. We sit in silence for a few minutes, before Mike breaks it. "How's Caleb? Did they tell you anything?" I look down at my lap and let go of Mike's hand. "I don't know. They took him to the operation room, but it feels like it's been forever." My shoulders begin to shake as tears spill out of my eyes. "Caleb can't die...If anything happens to him, I'll never forgive myself." I begin to sob, and Mike pulls me into his chest. He shakes me gently back and forth, shushing me.
     After a few minutes, I run out of tears, and sit with Mike in silence. A new pair of footsteps walk into the room, and I look up. Detective Johnson stands next to a male doctor, and they both look at me. When Detective Johnson sees my face, he gasps. I shrink back and hide my face in the crook of Mike's neck, who glares at the Detective. I know that I probably don't look my best, but no need for him to point it out. "Sorry," he says quietly.
I look back at him and the doctor. The man smiles at me, and looks at a clipboard. "Jace, right?" I nod. "Well you seem to be doing fine. We'll just need to run a few more tests, and then you'll-"
"Where's Caleb?" I ask, cutting him off. I would expect for the man to be upset or a little disgruntled at my rude outburst, but he doesn't say anything. Instead he only looks down, and my chest tightens, preparing for the worst. That look that he wears isn't one of relief or happiness that Caleb is alive and doing well. That's a look of sadness and remorse. Caleb's dead and it's my fault. I thought that I was finished crying, but apparently not because fresh tears manage to escape my eyes. Mike calls out to me, but I shake my head, and look down at my hands. They tremble uncontrollably as teardrops spill onto them. How could I have let this happen? If only I didn't hesitate, Caleb wouldn't have gotten stabbed. I sob into my hands, and Mike pulls me back into his chest.
He tries talking to me, but I can't hear anything over my loud cries. "Jace!" I look up at Mike, tears still running down my face, and my vision blurry. "Caleb's alive."
"What?" Mike smiles down at me. "I said Caleb's alive," he repeats. I look at the doctor for confirmation. He gives me a small smile and nods his head. "He's still very weak, not to mention the other injuries that he's suffered. He's lost a significant amount of blood, but other than that, he's alive and I expect for him to make a full recovery."
I stare dumbly at the Doctor while my brain tries to process the information. "I want to see him!" The man shakes his head and frowns. "He's still in intensive care, and I want him to get a lot of rest before he has any visitors. I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow." I frown, but comply. I don't really have a say in the matter. If the Doctor says that I can't see him, then there's nothing I can do.
Detective Johnson speaks up and looks at the doctor. "Is it alright if I talk to him privately?" The doctor thinks for a moment, before nodding. Mike stands up, giving me a small smile, before leaving. It's just me and Detective Johnson now. He crosses the room, and sits in a small chair next to the bed.
    He's about to say something, but I cut him off. "Where's Detective Robinson?" He sighs. "She's at the station filing a report." I nod, and he looks at me sympathetically. "How you holding up?"
    I look back down and shrug. "Fine, I guess. I'll feel a lot better once I see Caleb." The man chuckles. "I'm sure." We sits in silence for a while, until I ask a question. "Is he dead?" I don't have to say who because I'm sure he already knows who I'm talking about. He's stays silent, and stares at the wall as if the answer to my question is written on it.
    "Yeah. He died at the scene. He lost too much blood." I nod absentmindedly, but I don't say anything.
       I killed my dad. And he's not coming back this time. I should be happy. I should be overjoyed that he can never hurt me, or touch me, or even look at me anymore. But, I'm not. Technically I'm an orphan now. Both of my parents are dead, and I singlehandedly killed one of them. Detective Johnson should be arresting me, and putting me in handcuffs, but he isn't. When I look at him, he still holds that same sympathetic look in his eyes.
     "Get some rest," he says, standing up. "I was supposed to ask you some questions, but I won't for now. I'll give you some time to let this sink in. I'll come back later." He walks towards the door, but before opening it, he turns around to look at me. A reassuring smile is on his face. It's a look that I've never seen him wear before. "Take care Jace." He opens the door, and walks out. As I watch the Detective leave, I smile silently to myself. That man is full of surprises.

       ++++++++++++++++++++++++++

     Mike and the Doctor help me walk down the hallway to Caleb's room. With the adrenaline rushing through my veins at the time, and the remainder of the drugs, I never noticed how much pain I was really in. Now that everything has worn off, I can barely even walk straight.
     Eventually, we make it to Caleb's room. The Doctor pauses before letting me in. "I'll have to warn you that you may find Caleb's current condition...disturbing." I nod. I don't care about how bad he probably looks right now. As long as I get to see him, I'll be happy.
      The man nods, and lets us in. When I get a good look at Caleb, my heart breaks. He doesn't look anything like himself. He pale skin is almost deathly white. There are almost a dozen machines attached to his body, and a breathing tube in his nose. He has a little fuzz from how long he's been asleep and hasn't been able to shave. His arms are skinny, and his face is almost caved in. He's lost so much weight that only looks like skin and bone. There's no meat that's visible to the eye. I try not to cry as I walk towards him, Mike helping me.
     I sit in the small chair next to his bed, and Mike scoots me closer so that I'm sitting right next to the bed. I grab Caleb's hand. His hand is so light that it almost slips out of my fingers. A sob escapes my throat as I look at him. "Caleb," I whisper. My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. "Caleb," I say, this time, a bit louder. He doesn't move, but I'm not surprised. The Doctor told me that he had only recently came out of surgery, so the anesthesia probably hasn't worn off yet.
    "Caleb, I am so so sorry that I let this happen to you." I stare at Caleb's pale and bones hand as I talk, unable to look at the wires and tubes attached to him. "It's my fault that you're like this, and I swear, if I could switch our places, I would. I just wanna say that..." I break off, and another sob escapes me. Tears run freely down my face, and I make no attempt to wipe them. "I'm so sorry!" I'm crying uncontrollably by this point. I may seem like a complete idiot to the Doctor and Mike, but I don't care. I just want for Caleb to be okay.
     A hand strokes my hair, and my crying ceases. "It's okay," a raspy voice whispers. I look up to see Caleb smiling at me. I cry harder as I smile at Caleb. I don't want to hug him, in fear of hurting him or opening his wound, so I just sit there, crying and smiling at my brother.