Keep Holding On

Part Thirteen

I had been talking to Carrie on and off for the last month, she had even went to a meeting with me and told me she was so proud of the progress I had made. I was proud of myself. The nightmares were almost completely gone. I only had them if I was overtired and hadn't slept. I found myself not needing Ronnie as much as I thought I did, but I still wanted him, still loved him.

I also knew that ship had sailed and he was officially in a relationship with some other woman. It was hard, even harder to see when they would be outside and I would run into them. He would always smile and be nice, but I could tell it was hard for him too.

"You know. I'm sure you could get him back if you wanted too." I turned around and looked at Carrie. I had been back at work for a couple weeks now and I couldn't be happier.

"I doubt it. He seems happy. I don't want to ruin anything for him. As long as he's happy, that's all that matters." I looked back at the menu I was working on.

"That is such bullshit. You two belong together. Don't you know that? Should he have left? No. But if he didn't, do you honestly think you would be where you are now? I don't. Maybe you should talk to him." I shook my head.

"I appreciate what you're trying to do but I'm not going to ruin what he has now. It's not right, Carrie. I don't want to talk about it or him anymore, ok?" She nodded and walked out. I just needed to move on, why couldn't she understand that? More importantly, why couldn't my heart?

I heard a commotion coming from the front counter and walked out to see what was going on. "You have a lot of nerve to show your face around here, Radke!" Stephanie yelled. "Do you have any idea how much you hurt her?" He nodded and looked at me as I walked out.

"Steph. Stop." I told her but she shook her head.

"No! He leaves you after what happened, when you needed him the most and then comes around now! Why?" She looked at him and shook her head.

"I just wanted to talk to Carrie." I felt a little disappointed that he wasn't even there for me. "I didn't know Sydney was back at work." He looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

"I'll get her for you." I turned and walked to her office. "Ronnie is here to talk to you." I didn't give her a chance to say anything before I turned to go into the kitchen.

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(Carrie's POV)

I walked out front and saw Ronnie standing there, wondering what he was even doing here. I motioned for him to follow me out front and he did. "What are you doing here?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't know she was back. I just wanted to see if you had talked to her. I needed to know she's alright."

I shook my head and laughed. "Feeling guilty are you? Why the hell did you leave her? Do you know what you did? Instead of being there and letting her know you loved her no matter what, you just told her that she was right. That all this was her fault. You completely broke her heart and she still holds you on a fucking pedastol." He looked shocked.

"I told her over and over it wasn't her fault. I wanted to be with her, but she kept pushing me away. She acted like she wanted to be with me one minute, then like she wanted nothing to do with me. It broke my heart. I couldn't take it anymore." He started pacing and his hands were shaking.

"She's still in love with you, you know. I told her to talk to you about it. To tell you she wants a another chance." He looked at me and I saw hope in his eyes. "She refused. Told me that she didn't want to ruin what you have with your girlfriend. That you deserve to be happy too. I don't get her, really. If I was her, I would be pissed."