Keep Holding On

Part Seventeen

"Syd. Wake up, baby. We're home." I slowly opened my eyes and smiled at Ronnie. He had the passenger door open and was leaning over me. I blinked a couple times before taking the hand he offered me and climbing out. I shut the door behind me and was immediately engulfed in his arms.

He didn't move, didn't loosen his grip on me. I knew it must have been hell on him, going through all of that. There was still a part of me that thought I wasn't worth the trouble. "Don't even think it." He said against my ear. I pulled away and gave him a questioning look.

"Think what?" He pecked my lips lightly and took a step back.

"You're worth every ounce of trouble." I smiled at him. How did he know what I was thinking? He seemed ro have a way of reading my mind. "Come on, let's go inside."

We walked hand in hand into the house. He shut the door and said he had some things to take care of. He kissed my head and walked into his office, closing the door behind him.
That was odd, I thought. I shrugged it off as maybe he needed a little time to digest the situation. I walked up to our room and took a quick shower. I didn't bother with clothes, I just wanted to get into our bed and sleep for a week. Once my head hit the pillow, I was out.
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I woke up sometime later to an empty bed. He was still downstairs and I decided to go see what was keeping him. I put on my robe and lazily tied it on the way down. I saw the light still on and the door open. I walked in and saw him sitting at his desk with his head in his hands.

"Are you coming to bed?" His head snapped up and he looked at me with pain in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be up in a little while. You should go back to bed, baby." He looked away and I knew something was terribly wrong.

"Ronnie. What's wrong?" He shook his head and leaned back in his chair.

"We'll talk about it later. You need more rest. Go." I walked further into the room and saw him sigh.

"I did. Will you just talk to me, please?" He looked away then back to me before standing up.

"You went with him. Even though I told you not to." I saw the anger flash in his eyes and I felt my heart start racing. "Why would you be so stupid?" I gasped and took a step back.

"I didn't want him to hurt you. He already had. You were laying on the floor with a gash on your head, bleeding. I couldn't take the chance that he would do even more. I.... I knew you'd find me." He shook his head and placed his hands on his hips. "I love you." His eyes softened and he walked towards me.

"I let him take you." I shook my head. "I didn't protect you like I should have, like I promised I would. I let my guard down and I let him take you." He tried to walk past me but I grabbed his hand.

"No, you didn't. I made the choice to go with him. It's not like you handed me to him, Ronnie. You couldn't even stand, I saw you try." I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on tight as he tried to move away from me. "Please. Please don't let him come between us now." I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "He's finally gone. He won't be back. Please, Ronnie, please." He looked at me for a minute, then gently pushed me away from him. He didn't say a word as he turned and walked out of the room.

I didn't know what was going on or if I should go after him. I knew I couldn't lose him again. After all we went through to be together again, to find out way back to each other. This time I wasn't going to give up without a fight.

I walked back upstairs, towards our room. I could see the light on under the door and went to open the door, only to find it locked from the inside. "Ronnie! Let me in!" I banged on the door to no avail. I looked around, not knowing what to do. He wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't open the door. "Ronnie." I whispered as I laid my head against the door.
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"Sydney." I opened my eyes and saw Micheal and Carrie staring at me. "What are you doing on the couch?" Just as I opened my mouth, I saw Ronnie round the corner. He wouldn't look at me.

"I couldn't sleep." I sat up and accepted hugs from both of them. We talked about what happened, how they were so glad I was back and fine. At least some people were happy I was back, I thought. "I'm going to get dressed. I'll be back in a minute."

Just as I was walking into our room, I heard footsteps running up the stairs. I looked behind me and saw Ronnie running towards me. I thought he would talk to me, I thought he would say something. But he didn't. He grabbed his phone and shoes and walked back out. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't understand why he would come after me, and then act like he didn't want anything to do with me.

I sat on the bed and held his pillow tight against my chest. Maybe I should just get my stuff and go back to my house. Maybe I should just go back to New York. I could have my old life back. I could have my friends back. But I would lose Ronnie and I didn't know if I could go through that again.

After getting dressed, I walked back down with my bags. I dropped them by the front door and walked over by thr kitchen to get my shoes. I heard mumbled voices in his office and I rolled my eyes. I was glad he could talk to someone.

"Syd? Where are you going?" I looked up after tying my shoes and saw all three of them standing there, watching me.

"Well, Carrie. I'm going home." I stood up and walked away. I could hear all of them following me.
"You are home." Finally Ronnie spoke to me.
I turned around and looked at him.

"Am I though? You have barely talked to me, locked me out of YOUR room. Why would I consider this my home?"

He looked away and ran a hand through his hair. He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn't.

"I guess I don't understand why you came after me, if you weren't going to want me anyways. So, I'll save you the trouble of feeling guilty and just go." He bit his lip and closed his eyes. "I already talked to Bri." I lied. "I'm going back to New York." With that, I turned and started walking towards the door.

"What the hell do you mean you're going back?" Ronnie yelled, chasing after me. I turned and saw Michael and Carrie walk out the back door.

"It's obvious I'm not wanted here. Why would I stay? Why would I torture myself by living across the street from you and watch all the women you bring home? The thing is, I love you so much Ronnie. And you act like you don't care." I tried to grab my bags but he stopped me by gripping my arms.

"I do care, Sydney. You have no idea how much." He lifted his hand to my face, but before he touched it, he let it fall to his side. I shut my eyes and tried not to let him see how much he was hurting me.

"Why are you acting like this with me? What did I do?" He shook his head and took a deep breath.

"You didn't do anything." That's all the explanation I got before he went silent again.

"Do you want me to go? Are you just done with me?" He wouldn't answer and I stepped away from him. "I guess that's my answer. Thank you for saving me, for showing me what real love is. For being everything I ever wanted. It'll always be you, Ronnie. No one will ever compare to you." I leaned up and kissed his cheek, I looked at him but he refused to look at me.

I grabbed my bags and walked towards the door. I opened it and looked back at him. He was standing there, with his back to me and his hands in fists at his side. I took a deep breath and walked out.