Did You Miss Me?

Goodnight Tears

I feel a nudge on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Carter next to me. His arms wrapped around me.

"I feel asleep." I state.

He nods. "They went home. I didn't want to leave you."

I lean into him. "Thanks."

"I love you," he says.

"Thank you," I say. It just doesn't feel right for my first time saying it to be now.

After I told the guys about my past they were a little speechless. They were angry with my mother, they didn't say so but I can see it on their faces. I'm angry with my mother too.

"I'm sorry." I hear Carter say.

"Why are you sorry?"

"You deserve more. You shouldn't have a mom like that. Nobody really should."

I shrug, looking at my fingers trying to keep from crying. My whole life I've known my mother to was not the greatest. Why am I so hurt by this? She's always treated me like shit...why now do I feel so torn up about it.

"You know if Ryan actually comes here, you have four guys who are ready to beat him up, right?"

I nod, and smile a little. A tear rolls down my cheek from the corner of my eye. He wipes it away with his thumb before I can. He rubs his thumb under my eye, and then holds my cheek in his palm.

"Don't cry."

"Okay."

He puts his lips on mine. I focus on him, and let everything else go.

***

It was the next day and we sat in the living room of Carter's house. I sat next to Carter on the couch holding and playing with his hand. He was playing a game on his phone with his other hand. Next to Carter was Adam, who was flipping through channels on the TV. David was sitting on the floor with his laptop working on college applications while Ian sat next to him watching.

"I don't know why I'm doing this," David said as he halted his typing. "Harvard is too tough to get into. Like what's the point in trying, you know?"

Ian rolls his eyes. "You'll get in. I honestly don't see how they can reject you. You're the perfect student in every way."

David bites lips and looks at his laptop screen. I watch as his eyes lift to Ian. "When are you going to apply?"

Ian chuckles. "David. There's no chance in hell I'm getting into Harvard. I'm more brawn than brain and we both know it."

"Then I just won't apply, " David says while shrugging.

"But you should." Ian states as if its a fact.

David slides his laptop off his lap and turns to Ian. "No babe. I'm only applying where you're applying. We're going to the same college." He also states as if its a fact.

"But-"

"But what? You want me to go to Harvard and you go to a college on the other side of the country. Then what? Long-distance? Because that's not happening. We need to be together. I can't believe that after all that time of wanting each other, you want to separate," David voice seems to be rising and he continued to talk.

I look at Carter and Adam to see both boys watching the discussion like I am.

"That's not what I want David. What I honestly want is just what's best for you."

"And that's to be with you," David shot back, starting to sound a bit angry. It was clear he was upset though. "We just need to go to the same college."