The Woman In The Palace

A Different Kind of Emperor

Emperor Yuan walked into my room. His visits became more frequent since he found out about the child. I propped myself up as to greet him properly when he waved me back to the bed.

"Rest." He murmured. "Don't worry about getting up each time I come in and out of the room, it'll only wear you out."

I nodded quietly.

He lowered to the bed, and leaned. He stared at me with his dark onyx eyes, so solemn and sincere - that for a split second, he reminded me of the way Hoon used to look at me.

I hated myself for even comparing it. Yuan is nothing like Hoon, they might be a spitting image but my husband was gentle. He treated me like I was his universe and fulfilled my fantasies. Yuan did nothing but the opposite.

I returned his stare as I waited for my instruction.

He groaned. "What're you thinking about, Jasmine?"

I distracted myself from my thought. "Nothing, your highness. I was waiting for you to say something."

He allowed himself to fall flat on his back that even I was surprised at his lack of guard. This is hardly the Yuan I knew, the Yuan I knew was hard, mean, and abusive. But tonight, he loosened and I never thought this side of him even existed.

I told myself not to trust it, not to let my guard down. But as soon as I reminded myself not to let my guard down, Yuan turned to me with a genuine smile. The kind of loving smile a man often showed only to a woman he likes.

My heart skipped a beat and debated whether to return the same genuine smile.

If I didn't fear him, if I didn't fear for my life, I would had entertained the notion of telling him to fuck off. But something about his smile tonight was able to break though my walls.

I smiled back at him. "You seem so different tonight, your highness. I'm not sure I ever seen you this kind of mood before."

"Oh yeah?" He rolled on his stomach and focused his midnight eyes solely on me. "Why you say that?"

I shrugged. "You're relaxed. You are never relaxed. You don't come into my chamber loose like that." As a matter of fact, as I paid closer attention to him, Yuan wore a relaxed outfit compared to his typical garments. Something is baffling about the emperor like he suddenly turned into a different person. A kinder, gentler version and I only hoped for this to last long.

"Do you know what's it's like to have the kind of pressure I have all my life?" He began.

I found myself confused as to why Yuan decided to tell me all of this. "No, your highness. I could never imagine."

"I don't think I ever had an opportunity to relax my entire life. Never had the chance to walk at the garden at night the way Hoon took you every night." He crawled closer and laid his chest on my lower legs. "I used to envy Hoon when I watched you two from the distance. How lucky he was, he never had to work for anything his entire life. He was given everything. The love and affection of our parents. Father even scoured the entire country to get him a beautiful bride."

I never once suspected Yuan spied on me and Hoon whenever we strolled together at the garden. I imagined prince Julong stalked us until his heart shattered, but Yuan never once showed interest in me during my entire marriage with Hoon. I came to believe he even hated me.

"While here I am, I was never given a chance to experience a proper childhood." Yuan continued.

He loosened a breath and picked himself back up again. This time, he crawled up to me and rested his head on my stomach as to listen for any heartbeat or feel for any movement of the baby. "I want to change all that. I want to be a good father." He stopped and corrected himself. "I want to be a perfect father."

A perfect father doesn't exist. Yuan can be a good father at best, especially being the emperor, he will always have to be harsh and strict to his children. But there's still that part with prince Julong being the real father.

Then it dawned on me, I wondered whether Yuan had known all along and hadn't let me know. What if he seized the opportunity when he saw the chance?

The thought of Ru Shi's words echoed loudly inside my head. She said, Yuan probably know more than he's telling me.

"I'm sure you will be the perfect father to this child." I responded softly.