The Woman In The Palace

Without a Choice

My footsteps dragged on my way back to the chamber. Bailing was quiet as she followed behind. We were all quiet. Even my guardsmen who made occasional groans clearing their throats or threw sassy remarks here and there were exceptionally muted.

By the time we made it back to my chamber, more servants stood on each side of my door waiting for my arrival. They looked like they've been there for a little while and they had gone complacent, leaning on the wall casually as they waited.

Their backs straightened as soon as they saw me within eyesight and inclined their heads in a deep bow.  

My footsteps quickened as I approached, picking up the layers of my dress afraid to fall on myself. 

"What's going on?" I inquired alarmed. 

"We're here to escort the emperor's new concubine to her proper quarter." Responded one of the servants right away. 

My heart skipped a beat, repeating what she said in my head over and over but no matter how much I replayed it, her message was clear. Concubine.

It dawned on me that the emperor sent his orders even before I saw him today.

He planned for this all along, he denied me of a choice, just as how I was denied of my choice when they took me away from my parents. 

I rushed my panicked footsteps to my door trying to open it when I found out it had been locked.

I rattled the panel and banged on it a couple times trying to loosen the door, but it was sealed tight. I was forbidden from entering my own chamber. The chamber I shared with my husband for four years and the emperor didn't even bother letting me know.

"Open the door." My desperate voice asked the servants, hoping one of them might but they just kept their heads low.

"I'm sorry, mistress." Said one of them.

Mistress? 

The title echoed inside my head. Only a day ago I was still a princess. Had I been demoted and stripped of my title already?

My husband died barely a week ago.

"Someone open the door," I said again, the desperation in my voice plunged into a sickening beg.

"We have strict orders from the emperor, mistress." Murmured the other servant. "We were to move you to your new quarter."

I disregarded him and looked at my two guardsmen instead, trying to employ their help, but neither of them dare meet my eyes.

"Is everyone here afraid of the emperor?"

Silence. 

"Calm down, Jasmine." Said Bailing behind as she tried pulling me away from the door.

"Please mistress." One of the servants murmured. "We will all get in trouble if we don't have you moved."

"Leave us." Came Emperor Yuan's cold steel voice behind us.

He showed up at the hallway, he must've followed to the chambers soon after he sent me back. He must've expected this reaction from me or else he wouldn't have come.

He stood alone in the halls without the usual company his guardsmen. I noticed the rest of the guards posted along the hall were dismissed as well. 

His dark beady eyes rested solely on me disregarding everyone else around. He gave me one of his hard reprimanding stares he typically gave his wives. 

"Yuan?" 

The servants scattered away from the hallways as they left us alone, I tried to keep Bailing with me for protection but Yuan sent her away with the rest.

Yuan weight his heavy eyes on me making me flick my gaze somewhere else dominated by his.

He took one cold step forward and reached for the door. For a moment, I thought he was reaching for me making me gasp with fright, reminded of how he touched me in his throne room earlier. 

He held a key with him and unlocked the door, opening it for me. "Is this what you want, Jasmine? To go back to this room?" His chin tilted. "Go. walk inside, take a look." 

I did so as I stepped inside and swept my eyes around. I was immediately overwhelmed by emptiness and sadness. Goosebumps devoured and coated my skin slapped by the familiar scent of my husband as if he was still there, still alive, still breathing.

My eyes welled up, shuddering, as another set of my cries prepared itself from rising. I sucked a calming breath before I lose myself and held my tears back. I was afraid for emperor Yuan to see my tears again. 

"See, Jasmine." He groaned drifting his eyes to the same dark hollow room. "Do you really want to stay here? There's nothing but memories of you and Hoon together. I'm afraid staying here will only drown you in more sorrow."

He joined me by the mouth of the door, side by side with me, so close that our hips rubbed against each other. He stared more into the room sharing the same nostalgia with me. I knew he felt Hoon in there as well.

"I'm doing things for your best interest. I know this may seem too sudden, and you feel like you're not ready, but it's not healthy if you were to stay here."

His hand that seemed so rough not too long ago landed gently on my shoulder. Emperor Yuan guided me to face him. "You are moving, and you are staying at the quarter I assigned you. Don't be stubborn, Jasmine. I don't want you ever defying me."

"...so, I am obligated to be your concubine as well?" I added in a tiny voice.

"Refusing an emperor's demand can result in futile consequences," Yuan said in his calm domineering voice. "You never had a choice with Hoon, either. I don't see why you would be upset with this arrangement. You should be happy, Jasmine. I chose you myself."

He stepped back out of the room with his delicate fingers sliding down on my arm. Yuan guided me back into his chamber and shut the door behind us. "Come back to bed, perhaps a nap might calm you down."

I heard the servants came to my room as soon as Yuan and I were out of the way and began ripping off the sheets, curtains, carpets, and furniture. They stripped the room empty and made me heave panting breaths, upset with everything that is happening.

They tore everything down, destroyed the life Hoon and I had together and wiped away our memories. I was far from calm, Yuan ordered this, he did this on purpose, he took the memory of my husband away.

"Stop them!" I begged, but Yuan only kept his back to me, his broad shoulders stiff and motionless. He won't even look at me as though I was a shadow without a voice floating in his bedroom.

"Yuan stop them, please!" I pleaded helplessly.

Finally, my words got to him, Yuan turned as he slid out of his chair, he walked up and wiped my wet cheeks dry with his finger. "Hush, Jasmine. There's no point getting upset. I'm having them burn everything away. Hoon and you were the past, I want you to start new with me."