Twenty

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When Michael told me that Max had demanded they go out for some male bonding time, I couldn't help but laugh, imaging my son laying the ground rules to my new boyfriend

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

When Michael told me that Max had demanded they go out for some male bonding time, I couldn't help but laugh, imaging my son laying the ground rules to my new boyfriend. My son is normally very chilled out so thinking about the thirteen-year-old lecturing a thirty-five-year-old gave me the perfect opportunity to wind Michael up. It backfired on me, of course, because Michael suggested to Max last night that he might want to speak to us both together. 'Just so we're all on the same page,' Michael had said, flashing me a triumphant grin when my son agreed with that approach. Now, however, as we sat on my couch, Max pacing the floor in front of us, Michael had lost his smugness. 

"We need to set down some ground rules," Max announced, fixing his Casek eyes on me. I was used to his dark stare but Michael shifted uncomfortably as my son turned his attention to him. "First of all, Michael, I'd just like to say that if you ever hurt my mum, I'll kill you and then bury you. My father owns a construction company. Imagine how much concrete I could pour over you. They'll never find a body."

I sigh. "Maxwell," I say, using his full name as a warning. "Don't make me ground you."

"Don't interrupt me, mother," Max instructs me, holding his hand up to shush me. Motioning the zipping of my mouth, I girlishly turn to Michael and giggle, a move that made Max slick his fingers and shake his head at me. "I literally have no idea who you are right now. Ok, our ground rules, apart from Michael not hurting you-" he gives a pointed look at the man at my side. "-is that Micahel can only stay over on the nights that I'm not here. I am not mentally prepared to hear my mother having sex, thank you very much. You can go out on all the dates you want but Thursday nights are my nights. No dates for you two on Thursdays. Mum has a very strict curfew so don't drop her off later than seven pm on school nights and eight pm on weekends. Family dinner is on Tuesdays. Michael, you can come if you'd like. Finally, while I would very much like to have a sibling, I'm not emotionally ready to let another person into my life like that, so use protection."

I was too dumbfounded to speak. Had my thirteen-year-old really just said all those things out loud? In front of me and my boyfriend? Without feeling embarrassed about saying it all? I have never wanted the ground to open up and swallow me as much as I wanted it to do right now. Feeling the heat in my cheeks, I close my eyes tightly and give out a moan of dread. 

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