Moments of Impact H.S. A.U.

18

I wake up once more to find Harry's arm secured around me and although his action makes me smile, I'm also filled with an empty emotion inside. We really shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't have stayed the night, and I'm beginning to think that it was wrong of me to have come in the first place.

Careful not to wake him, I remove his arm and climb out of bed sending him a smile. He really does look adorable in his sleep. I divert my gaze away from him in search for my clothes trying to remember what happened to it last night. Somehow having Harry borrow me one of his tees sounds so much more sexual now than it did last night. My mind wants to scream at me for not thinking at all. I wonder if we all act desperately when we feel lonely? All we did was sleep, but somehow it feels so wrong because of how good it made me feel. I wasn't aware of how good it can feel to feel a man's touch in the middle of the night.

"Stay in bed." His voice takes me aback, and I turn around to give him a soft look. There's nothing that I want more than to stay in this bed with him, curled up in his arms and forget about everything else. But what we've been doing is so wrong. I feel like I've already grown closer to him than I would if we actually had sex together and somehow I'm feeling dirty as hell. The intimacy of just sleeping with him has already pulled me in far too deep, and I feel that if I don't get out now I won't be able to. I don't want to be that other woman. As much as I like him, I can't do this to myself.

"Go back to sleep, Harry," I say trying to give him a smile, but I fail and instead I put on my socks and turn my back to him.

"Not unless you join me," he says pulling at my arm. I close my eyes wanting to enjoy his touch, although I know I shouldn't.

"Harry, stop it. We can't do this. You need to go to work and so do I," I say trying to avoid the subject of her.

"I've talked to the boss, you won't get in trouble for this," he says, and I can hear the joy in his voice. I don't want to be the one to break it.

"Harry," I say short-breathed as my eyes meet his. "We can't do this," I say shaking my head. "You're with somebody else."

He nudges my neck and grabs my chin to force me to look at him. "In another world, you'd be the only woman in my life," he says surprising me with his confession. Is that really how he feels about me? The look he gives me is so raw, and I just want to kiss him and forget that Kaia even exists. He has technically just confessed how much I mean to him.

"But I'm not," I say feeling myself cracking. I don't want to cry, but I feel like I'm losing him although there's nothing to lose. He's not mine, and what we have is based on a lie. It's based on this wonderful dream that will never be anything but. He has his world, and I have mine and somehow the two just don't connect.

I look at the floor to avoid his gaze. I feel like he's playing with me. It feels like I'm just a piece he can move around as he pleases. "Look at me," he says, and I oblige noticing how the duvet falls down revealing his chest as he sits up. My heart skips a beat as I look him in the eyes. He can tell I'm on the verge of tears because he wipes my eyes before any tears can even begin to fall. "I don't need anybody but you," he states taking me by surprise once more, and a shiver runs down my spine.

"Yet, I'm not enough," I sigh hating myself for staying in the first place when it's making me feel this bad.

"You are, Leah. I don't want you to ever think differently. You're more than enough."

"But your life is complicated, right?"

"Right," he agrees with me, and I want to knock some sense into him. He's 26 for god's sake. When does he stop doing what his parents tell him to do?