| District 9 | STRAY KIDS SHIPS

This Was Him// Seungjin

This Was Him
Seungjin (Seungmin x Hyunjin)
Genre: Angst
Status: strangers to lovers
Words: 16,359

Dear Minnie,

I know your secret.

Remember to breath okay? I'm not going to tell anyone.

I just want you to know that I know you can talk. That you can sing. I heard you in the

chorus room during after school hours a few nights ago and I swear my heart fluttered at

just the sound of your tone. It was like milk and honey, silk against one's skin, the sweet

smell of roses, etc. I don't want to be too cheesy but I swear I could listen to your voice

for hours and hours on end.

So, why are you a mute? Why do you not want people to hear your beautiful voice?

I can't believe I still ask you questions as if you could answer, even by writing back.

But now that I know yours., should I tell you mine?

-H.H.

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It felt like his lungs were going to shrink and collapse within his torso, breaths coming out in painful, cold puffs. It felt like his head was going to spin off of his own neck due to the rapid turns and pivots. It felt like his lips were going to shatter into tiny pieces at just the mere touch of his teeth. It felt like his own tongue had been swallowed and caught at the top of his throat, unable to move down any further. It felt. It felt. It felt.

It felt.

For once in his life, he could feel the movements of everything around him. Every physical touch, taste, or smell. However, much like always, it seemed as though his thoughts and emotions ceased to exist, going unfelt unlike everything else. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that Kim Seungmin was having a panic attack, but not even the deepest philosopher could explain why he refused to act on it emotionally. Why his body shook but his heart and mind stayed at ease.

He tried not to think about it too much for the sake of his sleep schedule, but sometimes when he was supposed to feel angry or happy, there was nothing there at all. Only the unsettling, empty air in his stomach and the hairs on the back of his neck. Seungmin hadn't always been like this, so he had a general idea of how he was to react and sometimes he gave those false reactions.

But Seungmin had become used to not giving answers, blank stares with a certain raise of an eyebrow becoming the reactants to anything thrown at him. Seungmin didn't like to talk purely because no one listened. There hadn't been a deep, traumatic event behind it even though people liked to believe so; Seungmin just chose to stop talking one day and that had been the end of it.

A pair of hands slammed down on Seungmin's shoulders, and hairs stood straight on the back of his head at the mere feeling of his mother's nails digging harshly into his skin. "Snap out of it, Kim Seungmin!" Her voice echoed in his ears, repeating over and over again like the ticking of a clock. His body didn't react the way his mind had, the two working on entirely different cycles. She kept screaming and shaking his body, not giving him any sort of recovery time from the last scream.

When would she shut up?

His body acted before his head, hands coming up to shove her away before bolting out the door, legs kicking against the concrete ground. The cold air of the night filled his lungs, puffing them out to their normal expansion, but they crinkled shorter than they should have. He hadn't a place in mind, a place to rest his body and let it calm down from his bi weekly accounts, but it seemed his body had as it stopped in the middle of a parking lot.