Troubled heart

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Chapter 8

Clary was almost ready to go downstairs and it was almost like having déjà vu, the main difference being that she was in her new pale blue ball gown and not her golden dress. Clary also wouldn't be expected to socialize and dance with every young suitor that asked her, since this was to be in honor of her engagement to Sebastian. The thought made her heart beat a little faster, she still hadn't been able to shake off the dream she had had the night before. All day she had been trying to forget it and had avoided Sebastian to the best of her ability. This wasn't too hard since he had been busy most of the day.

"The color suits you."

Clary turned around to see Sebastian standing in the doorway. She had been too wrapped up in her own thoughts to hear him open the door. Then again, Clary probably wouldn't have heard him anyways, Sebastian could move as quiet and stealthy as a tiger.

"I'm glad you like it." Clary said with a smile. Sebastian had on a black suit with a dark blue vest that made his pale hair seem even more white than blond.

"Father sent me to retrieve you; he wants us to great the guests as they arrived."

Clary nodded and walked over to Sebastian, who held out his arm for her to take. The then made their way down stairs and to the ball room that connected to a pavilion outside between the house and the garden.

There were already a few early comers who were talking to either Clary's parents or Sebastian's. For what seemed like the hours Clary stood by Sebastian's side close to the door and greeted guests as they arrived. She also had to keep the same pleased look on her face even through the boring small talk that was expected of her. The moment it was no longer necessary of her to stand there she excused herself and made her way over to a table of refreshments. Once there she poured herself a glass of punch and scanned the room. To her surprise she found her friend Simon and made her way to him.

"Simon!" Clary said as she threw her arms around him, careful not to spill the last little bit of her punch on him.

"I'm surprised you have time for me, what with your new important duties of being an arm ornament for Verlac."

"Simon," Clary said chastising him a little.

Simon shrugged. "I'm just saying."

"It's not like that. It's just important that tonight goes well. Besides, Sebastian has a lot of pressure on him from his father right now." Clary said. Which was true for the most part, Sebastian had indeed seemed stressed while she was with him, but she didn't really know why.

"Fine. I'm just glad you made time to come see me. I wasn't for sure if you would even be able to find me with so many people here, let alone even know I was here."

"Like I would ever purposefully not make time for you."

"Hey, you never know. I haven't seen you for so long that for all I knew your father could have forbidden you to see me."

Clary's heart faltered a little at Simon's statement, the words hitting her like a brick wall. Careful not to change her expression, Clary forced a laugh and shook her head at her friend.

"Yeah, right. My parents like you. Besides I'm pretty sure they only time they would care was if you wanted to marry me." She teased as she tried to push away the image of golden eyes.

Simon stiffened a little but he quickly relaxed again. "Wouldn't want a scandal now would we?"

"Although the thought of frightening my father is amusing." Clary smirked a little.

"Ha, for you maybe. Me he would...."

"There you are. It's time for the announcement." Sebastian's voice said from behind her. Clary spun and saw that he was smiling at her.

"Sebastian." Simon said with a nod of his head, surprising Clary by how polite he sounded.

"Lewis." Sebastian said eyeing Simon a little. "Come on Clary, our parents will be distressed." He said as he grabbed Clary's hand and pulled her through the throng of people, away from her friend.

She looked back and saw that Simon's eyes seamed to gleam a little and he looked a little dismayed, or irritated. Clary couldn't decide which, if not both. With a silent sigh she turned her head back around.

They approached the front of the room where both her parents and Sebastian's parents stood waiting. Clary saw that her father looked a bit stiff. He's not happy, Clary thought.

"Finally." Clary heard one of the parent's say, not paying close enough attention to know which one as her stomach all of a sudden started to churn a little.

Clary heard a voice, most likely Mr. Verlac, call for the attention of the room. Everyone became so silent; she could have heard a pin drop, perhaps even one of the grapes that were on the refreshment table. Sebastian squeezed her hand and Clary look up at him, her heart now beating a bit faster than normal as her stomach continued to do flip flops within her body.

This is it. After this it's official that Sebastian and I are betrothed and there's no going back. Not that there was before... Clary thought, suddenly she wasn't sure she wanted to marry Sebastian. Yes, they shared common interests and he was easy to talk to. He was also quite handsome and would easily be able to provide for her. Clary couldn't deny she was attracted to him and she was pretty sure she was falling in love with him. And just because she wasn't completely heads over heels in love with him didn't mean she wouldn't one day feel that way about him. There was no reason for Clary to be rethinking any of it. Suddenly the dream flashed back through Clary's head and she had to keep herself from cringing at the memory. Clary pushed the dream to the back of her mind, frustrated with herself. A dream was exactly that, a dream. It didn't mean anything. There really wasn't a reason to all of a sudden get cold feet.

Except there's Jace. She thought without even really meaning too and her heart throbbed a little at the thought. Not only of the name but of the image that ran through her mind as she did, of the fierce, golden haired, and golden eyed boy who she had fallen in love with.

NO! Clary thought, not allowing herself to go back down that mental road of pain. Jace was the one who had decided to give up on them. He was the one who hadn't fought for her. If he didn't want her that much then he didn't deserve her. Besides, he had probably already found another girl to court.

"...announce the betrothal of my son, Sebastian, to Miss Clarissa Morgenstern."

Clary was forced back into the real world as Sebastian started to pull her towards where his father was, who had just finished a speech that Clary had not heard except for the last few words. As Sebastian came to a stop next to his father and put his arm around Clary's waist Clary could hear the applause in the room, along with the sounds of approval and gasps of surprise.

Clary smiled and looked around at the faced that were beaming up at her and Sebastian and froze as her eyes caught a familiar figure on the outskirts of the crowd. Her heart stopped at the sight of the figure, dressed in all black and eyes a little darker than normal.

Jace.

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