Despondency

t w e n t y t w o

What is the use of having Yoongi's account when all he could see were his female "best friends"? Jealousy and envy is a fucking bitch, and this is the second time that Yoongi made the omega insecured and unsure. Could that even be considered a karma too?

Jungkook could only swear that he's going to be bursting all of his pent up anger on the next moment he'll be jealous over another omega.

Why did Jeongguk have to see this? What have he done to experience such excruiciating pain on his insides and fastened stabbing on his heart. Aside from pain, the itch of having a fight and prove himself on those subjected people was lingering on his nerves. He is damn angry and hurt at the same time.

Scrolling down the chats, unfortunately, Jeongguk was bored on his life so he took opportunites to open the alpha's account, which was surrendered on him way back then.

Yoongi is happy. Talking like forever on his friends who in the omega's eyes are flirting on the alpha. It's not really an enjoyable sight for the omega, feeling that Yoongi could be more happy with them than on him, wanting the alpha to just take his friends and be with them instead.

Why would he even waste his time to pursue me when he could have them? Am I just a challenge for him?

He could not even stop himself thinking nonsense. As his finger slid downwards, Jeongguk saw more and more of the alpha's friends. Funny how they are all beautiful girls compare to Jeongguk.

Fucking hell, they are all girls. Girls. Maybe they are to offer Yoongi their freshness or even a fresh baby, an offspring of Yoongi himself, the one he can make on his own. Everything that Jeongguk could never have once more. Everything that will never be Jeongguk anymore.

His heart was beating fast, he felt suffocated, and he is unaware that he already is breathing harshly, sounds like panting. He had read more exchanged messages, feeling the pain on his chest, watching and imagining how the alpha was having fun. Including all the promises and dates that Yoongi recently stated on each and every one of them.

Offended. That is Jeongguk's description, the summary of all he's feeling and the root of the pain. The rush of insecurity flooded all over him again. He can never be enough to please someone.

He will never be enough for an alpha, neither a beta. If Jungkook is enough, why would Yoongi have to find another person to talk with? Why would the have them on his free time than be with Jungkook? If the omega is enough, why would Yoongi need someone else? Jeongguk took this word, offended, in as he swallowed all of his remaining pride, all to see if he's still needed by the alpha. Continuing what he was doing, oh yeah, reading the alpha's chats.

He wants the pain to kill him today. Is this why he can't even ask me how is my day? Because of these sluts who he's continuously talking to? His mind was running hard, thoughts after thoughts and ideas inside. He is drowning on his own despair, going deeper as his mind plays a scenario, flashing before his eyes, watching the alpha and those people on his chats having fun while he is there, choking on his pain and wounded heart, crying--rather wailing deep inside as he force a smile and fake a laugh to prevent making himself a mess in front of everyone, or even possible to embarrass himself.

Suddenly, the notification tone rang and brought Jeongguk back to unbearable pain.

"Babe, Bon was calling me his babe too" that was the message said. At that moment, Jeongguk wanted to cry. Pour his tears out of his poor heart, shed them through his eyes.

B a b e . . . . .

As if automatically, he pressed the message that popped out of the top part of the screen. His fingers moved on their own as his shock electrified his body, sending adrenaline reactions as like he had done seconds earlier. It was loading so slow that Jeongguk wants to throw his phone on the wall. More popping of the notification tone was heard, he was panicking, what could be happening behind his eyes and back?