Change (reader x Dean Winchester)

Chapter 18

When you got into the shower you turned on the hot water and let it run down your body. You stood there remembering everything that happened, from being kidnaped to heaven. All of it, you honestly hated yourself for what you did to Dean mostly, but you still wanted it to be over. You sat down thinking about everything until the water ran cold.

You stood up and quickly washed your hair and body and stepped out, you dried off and got dressed in a pair of black leggings, a black tank top with a black and white flannel. You signed while you looked in the mirror then headed to the library to talk to the boys.

"Dude you heard her, she thinks it's all a dream. But we were married and there was no hunting. It was the apple pie life I can't give her." You heard Dean say through his tears. "Sammy I can't give her what she really wants. Maybe I should leave." Dean sobs. "Dean you can't just walk away from Y/N now, she needs you! And maybe if you talked to her about it she will understand." Sam started yelling, you stood around the corner listening until you couldn't take it anymore. You ran back to your room and grabbed your bag and started packing. You packed everything you really needed and sat your bag on the bed.

Deciding you go talk to Dean before you really made your decision. Walking into the library Sam and Dean were siting at the table both drinking whiskey and glaring at each other. Sam looked up at you, "Hey Y/N how are you feeling?" He asked as you sat beside dean. "I'm okay I guess... Dean can we talk please." You asked setting your hand on his arm. He nodded and stood up and followed you to your room.

"What's going on?" He asked once you both sat down. "I wanted to say sorry for what I did... I remember a lot from before and I never meant any of it." You took a deep breath and pushing away tears.

"Y/N that's not your fault that wasn't you" he assured you. You looked down not knowing what to say next. "Why do you want to leave?" You asked quietly. Dean looked at you in surprise. "You heard that?" He said running his hand through his hair. "I heard all of it dean. Why would you want to leave when I came back for you? I said no to our family in heaven because I wanted you in real life not in heaven!" You started yelling because you were so upset. You didn't care that you told him you knew about heaven.

"Y/N I can't give you the life you want! Can't you see that!" He yelled back standing up at this point. "Can't you see, you want an apple pie life. You can't have that when your with me because my job comes with death and everyone around me dies at some point. I should have never brought you into this life!" He yells again this time in your face. You stared into his eyes with tears falling down your face.

"I understand... I'll go." That's all you could say before you grabbed your already packed bag and walked out your room. You headed for the library first to say goodbye to Sam.

"Sammy?..." You said quietly and he glanced up from his computer. "I just wanted to say bye... I'm leaving." Sam stood up and walked over to you and hugged you. "Y/N please don't listen to Dean, he is just upset and doesn't know how to express it." Sam whispers as he hugs you tighter. "Im only leaving for a couple days then I'll be back." You whispered back and let go. Tears still falling down your face, you looked back to see dean wasn't there. You took a deep breath and headed out the door.

Deans p.o.v
She's gone... I made her leave how could I be so damn stupid. I stood up and walked to my room, ripping guns off the wall and throwing them across the room. I didn't care. I heard the bunker door close which meant she left and my heart stopped. How could I screw this up this bad. I thought to myself.

"Dean? Do you want to talk?" Sam asked through the door. "Come in Sammy." I said with a quite voice, sitting down on my bed. Sam pushed open the door and slowly looked around the room. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "She's gone Sammy.... I don't know what to do now."
"She will come back, just give her some time." Sam said sitting down beside me. "Y/N just needs some space, in a couple of days I'll go and talk to her, okay?" He gives me a small smile and pats my shoulder. I nodded back and watched him leave. I sat there in silence for a long time before I stood up, picked up everything off the floor and grabbed my keys and left.

Your p.o.v
You walked down the road with your duffle bag hanging from your shoulder. Tears were running down your face as you got farther away. How could he gets so mad? You thought. I'm a couple days I'll talk to dean, maybe then he will understand.

When you got to the motel you ladies on the bed there were no more tears just you felt depressed. You laid there thinking about how you screwed up Dean and Sammy's life. Maybe is better off I just stay away you thought before you drifted to sleep.