iv. ultimate fate

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iv.ultimate fate

[ vivaldi - four seasons : winter ]

JENNIE.

I dreamt of a crash again, this time it was more vivid. I saw a hand dripping in blood, a sound of an ambulance, a cry of agony and pain, everything was chaotic yet all I did was stand there and watch it fade into the abyss of darkness. I remember that it suffocated me, my vision was distorted, it didn't felt right. The dreams I had for the past days have never felt right. Before I woke up I remembered that I was floating in the middle of a busy crowd of new york, the movement was timelapsed, then the face of Chaeyoung appeared over me in a moment then all went ablur until a hand held my back and pulled me back to reality in which greeted me with a roaring headache and aching body. Which made me remember the amount of champagne I had last night.

I panicked when I got into my senses, I needed to see Chaeyoung. As soon as I had my vision stabilized, I tilted my head on the left and realized it was her. Suddenly the fear of my dream melted away as if all of my anxiety left as soon as I saw her angelic face glowing under the morning sun. It was breathtaking.

She's sleeping like a marshmallow, soft, fluffy and yummy. It felt good seeing her like this, knowing she won't go anywhere, she's just here - untouched and protected. But no, she's not safe with me.


All these dreams and nightmares I have encountered the past days made me realize something oblivious and tormenting. Something bad was going to happen and my gut tells me my girlfriend would be in trouble. I've thought about this alone, and connected all the similarities of my dreams. It's strange but it all makes sense.

I generally hear the sound of clocks, a girl screaming in pain, ashes, loud bangs, crashes, and recently...blood. Chaeyoung already appeared twice in my dream and whenever I try to grab her, she fades away into the abyss of blackness. Something terrible is gonna happen and it keeps me anxious everytime I think of it.

That's why I have been a little bit off, with the mysterious dreams I have been witnessing along with Chaeyoung's issue with me. It's too much to handle, so I isolated myself in painting - something I do best. I can cope up with the overwhelming feelings and overthinking if I made my hands busy.

I'm just thankful that one thing is clear now, Chaeyoung needs to go. Not only because I don't want to be selfish of her anymore but also because she's safe if she stays away from me.

I want her to go now, without worry. Improve herself and let her be the master of her talent. Although I can't be with her in her journey, because I have plans to do here, plans for myself.

I think. We want different things now.

"Hey." I caressed her face forming slow circles, she then opened her eyes and yawned, damn what a beaut. "Good morning." She greeted with her fluff smile that made my heart a little warmer. She was in a sitting position beside my bed and I'm assuming she slept like that the whole night. I want to scold her for not making herself comfortable in the couch at least, but my hungover was too distracting to rage.

I massaged my temples as I got up in bed, "Why didn't you told me that you were planning on going here?" Chaeyoung quickly started with a tone I didn't liked. I pursed my lips before answering, "I wasn't planning to. But mother called, and invited me for champagne, and honestly it was hard to say no." I explained with my eyes focusing on the rays of the sun cascading through the glass window. I heard my girlfriend sigh, it was more like a symbol of dismay. "I sometimes really don't get your family affair. One day you'll tell me how you hate your mother so much, the next day you're off with her drinking champagne." Chaeyoung blunted out. I smirked out a laugh at the irony of the situation. "Well, it is complicated."

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