It Will Be Okay (SONADOW)

chapter 2

POV: Sonic
I woke up with a headache. I probably passed out from blood loss. I wrapped bandages around my arms. If I moved my arms it hurt, but I deserved it. Another thing about depression, most people think you do it for attention, but they don't know what it feels like. To not be worth living. Not to feel the need of having a knife slicing through your skin. Making you watch your blood come out of your cuts. Thinking about how pathetic you are. No one understands, and no one ever will. If I hadn't been so stubborn my family would still be alive. But they are dead. And it's all my fault. You probably know I'm afraid of water, there is more than just one reason why. But I will tell you how my hydrophobia started.

—Flashback—

My mom, sister, brother, and I were in my mom's car. We were on a vacation. I was four years old back then. I was annoying my big brother Manic.

"Sonic stop! It's annoying me." Manic said, sounding very irritated. I giggled and kept poking him. Manic took deep breaths to calm himself down. "Stop now!" He yelled.

"Sonic stop annoying Manic." My sister Sonia said. I didn't listen and kept going.

"Sonic listen to your sister." My mom Aleena said. I still didn't listen. Sonia grabbed my hand so I would stop. I stopped and I unbuckled my seatbelt. I crawled to Manic and gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry, pwease forgive me." I said.

"It's okay little brother but get your seatbelt back on." Manic said.

"Sonic get back in your seat!" Sonia yelled but I didn't listen. Because I was so stubborn. I kept hugging my brother.

"Sonic sweetie please get back on your seat." My mom begged. She turned around and tried to grab me.

"Mom!" Sonia yelled. My mom wanted to turn around and grab the wheel but it was already too late. We got off the road and landed in a lake. My mom and siblings were stuck because they couldn't get out of their seatbelts. My brother broke the window of the car and pushed me outside. I came to the surface. I was coughing the water out of my longs. I looked at the lake. "Mommy..? Sonia..? Manic..?"

—End Flashback—

Since that time I have been alone. Without a family. It's all my fault, everything. I should have died. Not them. They never did anything wrong. And having me became their end. Do you remember when I would mostly go after the enemy alone? Well because I'm scared that my friends will get hurt or even die if they are with me. I would never forgive myself for that. Not that I will ever forgive myself for killing my family. I thought about committing suicide but I couldn't leave my friends behind. That would be selfish. My mom used to say that if I found someone to love, everything would be okay. I first had a crush on Shadow, but that changed. He hates me with all his heart, he never liked me. He never cared about me or noticed me. I was just trash to him, not like I am not. He's totally right about that. I'm useless. I'm sure if I would die he wouldn't give a shit. Tails would never get over it. He is the only reason I'm still alive, he's like my new family. I could never leave him. He always needed me, but not anymore. He can take care of himself now. He wanted to live alone, away from me. I wouldn't want to live with myself either. Nobody seems to like me. I totally get that. I mean look at me. Who would like a miserable hero like me. Shadow had always been a better hero. He's the one that stopped Eggman, not me. But since Eggman is gone, everything changed. Life is not the same anymore. I'm replaceable My friends replaced me with someone else. Not that I don't want that, it's good for them to have new friends. Even Amy found a new 'boyfriend' to chase. But it feels like they only used me back in the days evil wanted to take over the world. Everyone changed, but probably I the most.