It Will Be Okay (SONADOW)

chapter 16

POV: Sonic
I opened my eyes and looked around. Sadly. I was in my bedroom. I thought I would have died. Guess not. My ears perked up from hearing my phone go off. I pushed myself up with my shaking arms. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand. The person who rang me had already hung up. I saw I had a lot of messages from Tails and Knuckles. And a lot of missed calls as well.

———————————————
Tails: Please answer.
10 minutes ago

Tails: Are you okay?
10 minutes ago

Knuckles: We're worried about you.
25 minutes ago

Tails: Please. Talk to us.
27 minutes ago

Knuckles: Sonic.
30 minutes ago

Knuckles: Sonic.
31 minutes ago

Knuckles: Sonic.
32 minutes ago

Tails: Sonic I know the others were mean to you but we want to help.
37 minutes ago

Tails: Please let us help you.
40 minutes ago

247 unread messages from Tails

310 unread messages from Knuckles

74 missed calls from Tails

36 missed calls from Knuckles
———————————————

I missed a lot.

I checked which day it was when I realized I had been passed out for almost a whole day. But I didn't care. I both sent them a message saying I was fine. I got up only to hiss in pain. Everything hurt.

I deserve it. I deserve to feel this pain I caused to myself.

I stumbled towards the bathroom. I turned the shower on and sat on the floor, letting my fur get wet and wash most of the blood out of it. I just say there, feeling my cuts sting. I didn't flinch though. I was kinda getting used to this pain. But something was bugging me.

Why? Why won't the world let me die? I just wanna die. I just want to leave this place. But since existence still wants me, I better go do something with the time I have left. I think I'm going to tell Shadow about my feelings tomorrow.

Sometimes rivals aren't what they seem to be. Back when we were still rivals, I had a crush on Shadow that only grew and grew. But now that's less but I still have a crush on him.

I love him. I want to be with him. Maybe I should stay alive. Try to make something good of it. I will die eventually and then my torturing can continue.

'Do everything you can do in the time that is given to you. We only have one life, so live it as if each day is your last. Leave every regret behind, and live this life you were given.' That was something my mother used to say.

Maybe I should listen to her. I should give life a chance.

'In life, things can never be 100 percent sure, it's the only thing we can be sure about. Take risks where they're needed.' Manic used to say when I was afraid to do something.

This is one of those risks.

'The people who hate us the most are the ones who secretly adore us.' Sonia used to say that a lot when people at my old school used to call me a freak because of my speed.

She is right. I acted like I didn't like Shadow in the beginning even though I liked him. No, loved him. Maybe Shadow feels the same way. You know, after what happened yesterday. Let's hope he does. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will know the answer to my question.

I washed my fur with shampoo and turned the shower off when I was done washing it out. I shakily got up and leaned against the wall for support. I dried myself off with a towel. My stomach grumbled.

Maybe I should eat something.

Walking downstairs took me a long time. I wasn't feeling like cooking so I grabbed a few apples which I ate.

I didn't know I was so hungry. It makes sense since I haven't really eaten anything, except for yesterday, in the past month. Or even longer. I can't remember.

I went back upstairs when I was done eating and had thrown the leftover of the apples in the garbage can. I pulled the covers over myself and curled up a little. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. For the first time in what felt like years, I finally had a good rest.