It Will Be Okay (SONADOW)

chapter 15

POV: Sonic
".. I-I'm not... doing it for... a-attention.." I said.

Please let this all be a bad dream. If it is, please let me wake up.

"Yea right. And why do you think I will believe you?" Silver said and crossed his arms. "You have been acting different since Eggman has been stopped." He said. I looked at everyone around me. Blaze and Amy seemed to agree with Silver. But Knuckles and Tails disagreed. Rouge was hesitating.

"..Y-Yes.." I said.

"So since Shadow got the attention instead of you, you cut yourself hoping to get that attention back? What pathetic." Silver said and rolled his eyes.

Why do people assume you cut for attention? Why can't they understand?

"No-" I replied but Amy cut me off.

"Oh shut up with your excuses." She said and crossed her arms.

Is this really happening? Or is this another nightmare? This feels too real to be a dream.

"I thought better of you." Blaze said. "But really? Cutting yourself to get the attention back you once had. Are you kidding me?" She said.

"You really thought we would give you the attention and care you wanted by doing this? Well that's not what we're gonna do. Do you feel bad now for cutting yourself without getting what you wanted? Cause you should." Amy said. I didn't say anything. My mouth wasn't allowing me.

"You got that jealous of Shadow? Wow. You were always the one who helped him step out of the dark side. You wanted this for him. You're no friend. You're no hero." Rouge said.

"... Y-You don't g-get it..." I said as I fought back my tears.

"I think we know pretty well what is going on." Blaze said.

"But-" I said but Rouge didn't let me finish.

"Get out of my house, you freak!" She yelled and pointed at the door. I pinned my ears against my head and quickly grabbed my sweater and backpack then dashed away. I couldn't fight the tears anymore. I started crying.

Why..? How could they say that..? Me... cutting for attention..? I don't want any attention. I do it to make the pain go away. Even though I get other pain for it in return.

I ran to my house and went to my room where I grabbed my knife. I cut everywhere I could. More tears kept coming out of my eyes. I felt so much pain going through my body. Blood dripped from my cuts like heavy rain. I sliced easily through my skin. More and more blood came out. I didn't stop. Not till this was over. I cut my wrists, arms, chest, thighs, legs, and ankles. You couldn't even tell which color my fur was anymore. It looked more red than blue. I held the knife against my throat. My hand was shaking from all the pain I felt but that didn't stop me.

This is the end. The end of my life.

I looked at the picture of Shadow and I together standing on my nightstand.

Shadow. I never told him about my feelings. Why do I have feelings for you? Why did this have to start? I love you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know you wouldn't care anyway. I know you don't love me.

I held the knife tighter against my throat. I closed my eyes.

3...

2...

1...

I can't! Why?! Why can't I do it?! What is keeping me from killing myself?!

I dropped the knife, making it fall on the floor in a puddle of blood. I fell back on my bed. I watched it getting soaked with my blood. It felt like I was drowning in my own blood.

I hope I am going to die. I have to. I have lost so much blood. Finally I will be freed from my suffering on this planet. Then my suffering will continue in Hell. I deserve it. I deserve all of it. Please let me die. Please world, let me finally go. I wanna leave this place. I'm done here. I'm still grateful for all the good times I had with my family and friends. But this is it. This is the end of my story.