It Will Be Okay (SONADOW)

chapter 9

POV: Sonic
I turned the tap on before rolling my sleeves up a little and unwrapping the bandages. I looked at my bloody wrists and arms. I thought I heard a gasp so I looked at the direction I thought it came from. I saw nothing so I looked back at my in-blood-covered skin. I didn't mind it but I knew if someone would see it, I would be in big trouble. And that was something I did mind. I placed my wrists under the water and the clear water turned red. At first, I just watched the water turn red. I rubbed my left hand over the cuts on my right wrist, washing the blood and dried up blood off my wrist. I winced since it hurt but I deserved to feel the pain so I just pressed harder, making me wince louder. When I was done, I did the same with my other wrist. It burned to feel the water splashing on my cuts. When I was finally done, I wrapped the bandages on my arms again and I pulled my sleeves back down before cleaning the sink. I moved my backpack so it was comfortably on my back before leaving the restroom. I looked around to make sure there were no bullies around.

Please don't be around.

Gladly I didn't see any so I walked off. I went outside and sat down beneath a tree. I didn't feel like eating. And even if I did I couldn't since I brought no food with me to school. I didn't care. I just accidentally forgot my food. It happened to people all the time. And now it just happened to me.

What am I good at fooling myself.

I didn't want to bring food with me to school since I didn't deserve to eat anything. I heard footsteps coming my way so I looked up. I saw Tails walking up to me. I faked a smile and greeted him.

"Hey Sonic, are you feeling better?" Tails asked. I nodded. I didn't feel like talking. "Okay then." He said and sat down next to me. "I needed to give you this." He said and handed me an invitation for Rouge's party.

Oh great...

"Is Rouge giving a party?" I asked while I already knew the answer.

"Yep, today since tomorrow the first three periods from all our classes are canceled." Tails answered.

I can't go to that party. Why would she even invite me? We aren't really friends. We hardly talk. She is mostly with Shadow while I'm alone in class. I don't have anyone to stick around with. Only Tails but he's in another class. He's the only one who makes sure I don't kill myself. I stay on the planet for him, but he doesn't need me anymore. He lives on his own and has a bunch of friends. He doesn't have to give me his attention any longer. He can give it to people who are worth it, not someone like me. Well... Shadow makes me also not kill myself. I want to tell him about my feelings. I know he won't love me back so I just have false hope. But it's hope. The only hope that I have left. I want to be happy again but I know I don't deserve to be happy again. I know so many things about myself that I wished I could just forget, but I can't. Memories will keep hunting me down until I end my life.

I remembered the times when Manic wouldn't want to do anything fun with me like playing. 'Life is too short to not have fun!' I would always tell him.

He wasn't able to enjoy life because I killed him. I'm such a terrible sibling.

I remembered when Sonia told me I was clumsy. 'I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the wall gets in the way!' I would say as a reply. She would always laugh and pat my head.

Sadly I will never hear her voice or feel her touch.

And then, at last, I remembered the times when my mother was sad since our father left us. 'Look beyond what you see, to honestly see its beauty.' I would say to cheer her up. She would hug me and kiss my forehead, telling me I was a great son. But she was wrong.

They are all dead... I bring death on everyone's path...