Friends Is All We'll Ever Be (boyxboy)

Chapter Twelve~The Reason

Dylan's POV

I step into the chilly evening air, taking one last look at my best friend before slamming the door shut behind me. If we we're even best friends anymore. There really was no telling. A well expected sigh pushes past my still moderately swollen lips and I begin take in the full reality of what just happened. 'Now is not the time to mope and feel sorry for myself' I thought as my feet finally got the will to detach themselves from the pavement of his front porch and silently walk away.

I begin the journey back to my house, anxious to get away from here in hope that the long walk would help me clear my head. You'd think it would start storming and I'd willingly walk though it to get home like most situations you hear about. Firstly, just because I'm sad does not mean I would be willing to get pneumonia and drown in my sorrow instead of calling someone to pick me up.

Secondly, it was the complete opposite. The sun was peeking faintly out over the hills, leaving a beautiful warm contract of colors and cool tones in the atmosphere as I continued my knowingly long walk to my house.

Part of me wasn't thrilled to go home. I didn't feel like dealing with my constant paranoia of them giving me judgmental stares, in fear that they had found out about what just happened. Even though it was highly unlikely. That's the reason I suggested to Alex that we should spend some time apart and why I reacted the way I did. It wouldn't be entirely a walk in the park if they found out.

My parents aren't exactly 'fond' of gays, constantly scrunching their faces up in disgust if one happens to be on tv or walks past us. Why do you think I snapped on him like that. It's like my parents put them in their own category which I don't think is fair, they're humans too. Well that's how I look at it at least.

There was no longer a single fiber being in my body trying to convince me that I didn't at least have a slight attraction to Alex. Ever since the night we played truth or dare, its been getting more and more undeniable. I started to rethink my feelin- um thoughts when I didn't turn down Claire's dare and actually agreed to kiss Alex instead of one of the girls. Any other dude would've easily and without a heart beat chose to kiss Claire or Maya. Something I didn't do.

What sealed the unwanted realization was the fact that I enjoyed it. Not just the first time, but the second too. My thoughts begin to drift to when we were younger and how we'd spend as much time as we could together. Similarly to now. We were a lot closer then most people and even closer than some family members are to each other. I remember pretty much everything from our 'youthful' days.

Every hug.

Every kiss.

Every promise.

Tears formed in the back of my eyes the longer I reminisced, but I forcibly push them back. My thoughts unwillingly begin to drift back to my parents, one of the main reasons I wasn't able to act on the things I felt towards Alex. They would probably disown me and I'd never get to see my sister again. Not to mention it would probably tear them apart considering they are already having relationship issues. I'd be a disappointment in their eyes, seen by them as their only son who never made them proud. Their GAY son.

Was I actually gay? Maybe it's to soon to jump to that conclusion. Everyone has their phases right? My question is answered when an image of Alex's unnaturally perfect face fills my mind as my feet trudge across the cemented sidewalk. Sighing, I look up towards the sky that was a little darker than before due to the fact of how late it was getting. It's not like I'm attracted to guys and go around everyday thinking about how cute some are like a fucking love struck teenager.