In my veins »/Raphael Santiago\«

Can you hold me

Alec shot up in his bed at the sounds of his sisters screams that ran his blood cold as he raced out of his room accompanied by Jace who also heard the screams.

"What the hell is going on?" Jace asked him as they ran down the seemingly endless halls

"I don't know all I know for sure is that that's Afina" Alec stated before slamming her door open to see his sister wasn't there

"What the hell?" Jace looked at his parabati in confusion "were we to late?"

"Don't say that!" Alec said aggressively before shoving past him and into the main room where he started looking at the security cameras.

"There!" Jace pointed his finger at a screen and Alec quickly turned his attention to it and the sight he saw made his eyes widen

"Oh my god" he said staring as Afina stood at the very edge of railing "What is she doing?!"

Alec pushed away from the screens before running the fastest he's ever ran to the roof skillfully dodging any Shadowhunter that came into his path.

He slammed the roof door open making Afina jump and lose her footing causing her to almost fall before she regained her balance and looked at her brothers with tear filled eyes

"Afina, what's going on?" Alec asked quietly, holding his hands up as he slowly made his way to her.

"I can't do this anymore Alec! No body listens to me I'm every bodies seconds choice whatever problem I have everyone puts it off until later" Afina said her balance getting worse for some reason Alec didn't know but he continued to creep closer his hand still held out to her

"Afina, just take my hand and we can talk about this" Alec's eyes were pleading and even Afina could see that but she didn't care

"I'm your second choice Alec not even that I come after Izzy after Jace after max and even after Magnus. Jace is a given everyone comes after Clary. But even Mom I come after you and Izzy. Simon! I come after literally everyone!" Afina ranted turning to look over the edge "it'd be easier if I was just gone"

"Afina that's not true" Alec tried but she turned to look at him sharply

"Oh it's not? So this morning when I asked for help and you said you'd come back later because you needed to help Izzy? Does that ring a bell for you?" She asked as strands of hair blew into her face and both her brothers started filling with guilt.

"Afina please" he begged holding his hand out for her to take it

"I'm so tired, so tired of being second to everyone. I'm not even Izzy's first choice I'm here last. I'm Raphael's second choice too, he'd also rather have my sister" she cried her hair blowing from her face as tears streamed down her face

"Please Afina that's not true please just let us help you" Alec begged watching his sister carefully

She turned to them sadly looking at Jace and Alec before uttering two words

"I'm sorry" she said letting her self fall back and they bolted for her

"Afina!" Jaces hand wrapped around his sisters wrist as she slightly hit the wall.

"Help me pull her up!" Jace yelled at Alec who quickly grabbed onto her arm and they started pulling her up and when he could reach her shoulders, Alec quickly wrapped his arms under her arms and pulled her the rest of the way.

"No!" She screamed trying to get out of his grasp when the voice in her head laughed at her sad attempt of getting rid of it.

Alec brought Afina onto his lap and stroked her hair while he rocked them back and forth. He looked up at his Parabati in concern but Jace only matched his look.

"Afina what the hell was that?" Alec finally asked and pulled her so he could see her face slightly

"Alec nobody will listen to me! I need to die! If I actually die this time I won't hurt anybody else!" She said frantically grabbing at him with fearful eyes

"What do you mean?" Jace asked quietly as he kneeled down next to them.

"There's a voice in my head telling me to kill everybody I come in contact with. It's starting to be able to control me and I can't stop it" Afina explained.

As Alec went to say something he stopped when Afinas eyes turned black and a twisted smile played at her lips before her entire body fell limp in her brothers arms.

"Afina?!" Alec quickly brought his fingers to her neck and sighed in relief when he found she had just passed out.

"What the hell is going on?" Jace asked as he stood up when Alec stood up with Afina in his arms.

"I don't know"
—
"Alec? What's going on?" Izzy asked when she saw her brothers walk in with an unconscious Afina

"Afina just tried to kill herself" Alec said his voice cracking a little when he thought back on everything he didn't do for her

"What?" Izzy's eyes went wide with the news and Jace nodded

"She said there's a voice in her head that's telling her to kill people. I'm going to take her to Magnus maybe he can help" Alec said as he walked passed her and she watched him leave with Jace by her side.
—
"Hello?" Izzy asked as she answered her phone without looking who it was

"Izzy, have you heard from Afina?" Izzy raised her eyebrows in confusion. She had just watched her brother leave to take Afina to Magnus.

"She hasn't told you?" She asked

"Told me what?" Raphael had been pacing in his room ever since she called him but never came on to talk to him.

"She has something going on with her, she said voices were telling her to kill people at least that's what alec told me she said. Raphael she tried to kill herself" Izzy explained and she could hear his side go silent indicating he stopped pacing

"What?" He asked quietly and Izzy let out a shaky breath

"I thought maybe she told you what was going on" Izzy said and she could almost feel the news crushing him just as much as it crushed her.

"Where is she?" He finally asked after a minute of silence

"Raphael maybe-" Izzy went to say but was quickly cut off by a demanding Raphael "Alec took her to Magnus"

Once Izzy hung up her phone she thought back to when Afina told her she thought something was wrong with her but Izzy dismissed it and walked away, how she pulled Alec away from her when Afina was probably trying to tell him. She couldn't help but blame herself even though she had nothing to be blamed for.

Everything started happening so quickly after she got addicted to vampire blood she broke her sisters trust and fought hard to regain it back but it seemed every time she tried it got smaller and smaller with each mistake she made.

She felt a tear fall from her eye and she quickly wiped it away before she continued on with her work on training Max.
—

"Alec? What're you doing here so early?" Magnus asked when he watched him walk into his apartment and set his sister down on a couch.

After explaining to him what happened Magnus fell silent and walked over to his table where he was already working on a potion for her.

"She asked me to make it and I gave her something to sustain it but it's further then I thought. The potion isn't ready yet but it should be soon. Go back to the institute I'll let you know if anything progresses" Magnus explained and Alec gave him a small smile before he turned to leave

"Thank you"
—-

Okay okay I know it's not that great of a chapter but I wanted to get something out there so you guys didn't think I just gave up on the book because I promise I haven't.

Next chapter should be a lot better I promise