An Accident, A Decision, and Destiny (Revised)

Chapter 11

The closer we got to the mall, the more nervous I became about actually going in. Kelli sensed it and began to give me a pep talk to calm me down.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her photos. She brought up one of me standing in front of the mirror earlier this morning and showed it to me.

She asked me to point out three things in the picture that gave me away as obviously a boy in disguise.

I honestly couldn't give her one, but I kept looking.

Finally I found something that gave me away, "My posture, the way I'm standing."

"Of course you don't know everything yet about carrying yourself in a feminine manner. Your posture could use a little work, but no that's not enough to give you away. Try again," she replied. "You've got a lot to learn, but you noticed that on your own so it'll be easy to remember. From now on, whenever you are just standing, pull your feet closer together or cross one over the other. Problem solved. What else you got?"

There had to be something else. I kept looking and finally notice my nails. I have a habit of biting my nails extremely short, so I pointed them out.

"Look at my nails, they're chewed off and not painted. My hands, they look boyish and unfeminine."

"First of all," Kelli responded, "that's also minor and no one is going to be looking at your hands that close. They'll be distracted by how pretty you are. Painted nails will give you a more feminine look, so if you're that self-conscious about it, we can take you to get your nails done before we do anything else. Right mom?"

"Absolutely."

"Besides," Kelli continued, holding the back of her hand up, fingers spread. "yours are no shorter than mine."

"Yeah but at least yours are painted."

"Look, bottom line is, you're worried for nothing," she told me as she put her phone away.

"Hey, you know what I just thought of," Kelli asked moments later, as we sat quietly at the traffic light, waiting to turn into the mall parking lot. "We haven't given you a name yet. We can't very well be calling you Carl while we're walking around in the mall. That would raise suspicions."

"How about, Jan," Aunt Jill suggested.

"How about no, mom," Kelli replied then began to throw out names. "Rachel . . . Selena . . . Crystal . . . Peyton?"

"I don't know, what about Carla," I suggested, offering up the feminine version of my given name.

"Umm, I guess that could wor-- no . . . Wait! I got it! Destiny!"

I thought about it for a moment.

"Yeah, I kinda like that, and I see what you did there," I replied, pointing out how she thought choosing Destiny was clever. "I'm not so sure about that yet, Kel, but I do like the name."

"Well then, I now christen thee, Princess Destiny the Gorgeous."

Kelli burst out laughing and Aunt Jill turned into the parking lot. The sight of the mall caused the butterflies to return to my stomach.

I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and told myself everything was going to be fine.

With much trepidation I slowly exited the vehicle. I was very self conscious as we walked across the parking lot. I felt like everyone was looking at me and trying to decide if I was really a girl or not.

When we got to the door I held it open for Kelli and Aunt Jill to enter ahead of me. Kelli saw what I was doing and quickly reached for the door while inconspicuously motioning for me to go.

I didn't even realize what I had done, I'm so used to doing that anytime I'm with other females (my dad had been raising a well mannered gentleman).

Kelli explained to me that I shouldn't do that, it was very boyish. She told me I should enter and then hold the door until the next person takes it before continuing on.

Man, I never realized there would be so many things I'd have to learn to do different. I made a mental note to start paying more attention to my boyish mannerisms and unconscious habits.

I knew I'd have to be more aware of everything that my dad had taught me, and not do any of that if I was going to be successful at convincing people I was a girl.