An Accident, A Decision, and Destiny (Revised)

Chapter 16

After breakfast on Sunday of the sixth week, Aunt Jill sat me down and said she wanted to talk to me a bit. She said she had sent Kelli to walk to the grocery store for a couple items so we could talk in private, just the two of us.

She began by asking me how I felt about the summer so far and what I thought about my new experiences.

I told her even though I was scared out of my mind the first couple of weeks, I was enjoying all of it now and feeling a lot more confident than I did at first.

"Aunt Jill, when I first got here I was apprehensive about how things would go. Sure, I was optimistic and had been practicing and doing research before I got here, but I still didn't know what to expect. Everything has exceeded my expectations and I have completely changed my mind about what I think now."

"I'm not suprised to hear that. I have definitely seen a change in not only your confidence level and demeanor but your personality as well. I wasn't sure, when you got here which way you would lean."

She stopped there, probably not wanting to some how influence my decision, and instead, steered the conversation in another direction.

"It's been six weeks, what do think has been your favorite new experience so far?"

I thought for a moment. This was a hard question. There was so many things I liked. How could I possibly narrow it down to just one?

I absolutely love the feeling of hose, especially when my legs were freshly shaven and under jeans, and the way my whole body feels when I walk in heels, nothing else like it. I was even beginning to like the attention I was noticing from people around me, the way guys would check me out as I walked by caused me to feel like I had some sort of power over them and validating me.

Then there was the way I found myself feeling delicate, feminine, and even vulnerable, especially when I had on a short dress and heels. That's when I noticed the guys and even girls looking at me and it really boosted my confidence. I am more comfortable, more confident in myself now than I had ever been at any point in my life.

I was always a shy, quiet boy with no social skills; a wallflower that would rather spend time in my room alone, on my computer than go out in public, but all that had changed now. I found myself wanting to go out and show off my outfits and was even enjoying shopping, because it meant more experiences, new looks to try.

The sleep over had been a truly eye opening experience and I wasn't the quiet kid that sat back and observed. Sure, for a while, at first, I might have been, but by the time night rolled around I was pretty much the life of the party, all the girls there wanted to be my friend.

Across from me, Aunt Jill was still waiting for an answer.

"Auntie, I think . . . it's the simultaneous feelings of power and vulnerability. It's like nothing I ever felt as a guy. As a guy you feel the pressure to live up to your parents and society's masculine expectations, but all that pressure is gone now. It's like a whole world has opened up to me. I don't know if that's a good thing or not."

I had to admit that I had become addicted to my new life. I had become addicted to feeling pretty and feminine. I was addicted to the attention that I was getting from everyone around me. And I think, more than anything else, I was addicted to the way I felt about myself when I was dressed as a girl. It was a feeling that I had never experienced before and one that I wasn't sure I wanted to give up.

A sly little grin crossed her face in reaction to my answer, like she knew something she wasn't saying, but she didn't address my answer directly. Instead, she began to tell me how amazed she has been watching me take to the role of a girl so naturally. She then began telling me how much she and Kelli was enjoying having me around.

After a few minutes of talking about the summer so far, she dove in and asked me if I'd given any thought to legally changing my name to Destiny.

"Wouldn't I need to get Mom and Dad's okay? And wouldn't that mean that I'd already decided I wanted to be a girl now, for real?" I asked her.

"Well, to answer both questions at the same time, yes, it would." She responded. "It's pretty obvious to me that you've made your decision."

"But actually I haven't. I'm just not sure yet, Aunt Jill. It's a big step and I still don't know what I want to do."

Yes, that's what I told her, but inside I knew I was well over 50% sure. I guess I was just afraid to say it out loud.

"Okay, Destiny. " She leaned forward and placed her hands around mine, which were folded together in my lap. "I don't mean to rush you. It's just that you're such a pretty young lady now and it all seems so natural to you. You seem so comfortable and so at ease now, completely unlike the nervous boy that came to live with us nearly two months ago. Not the same person at all. You know what I think? I think you had decided by the end of week two, but you're just afraid to consciously admit it."

I pondered her words for a moment before responding. I knew deep inside that living as a girl was exciting and I really was starting to think of myself as a girl.

"I guess I am more comfortable now, Aunt Jill," I meekly admitted. "and yeah, you're right, I have enjoyed everything I've gotten to experience. It's just that once I make that decision, it'll set the trajectory for the rest of my life. That's a huge step and it's scary, you know?"

"Well, summer's almost over and I . . . I've had a discussion with your parents."

"You what? Wait, what did you tell them?"

"Well, it was a discussion about your time here; what I've observed, and what we've done. They also asked me what I think. I told them at length and they agreed with me, if this is what you want, they'll allow you to stay, to continue living with Kelli and I, and attend school here as a girl this fall. It's the perfect solution for you to be able to assimilate into society as a girl without having to be around people who all know your past. What do you think?"

Aunt Jill heard Kelli coming in the front door. She stood up and placed her chair back under the dining table and finished the conversation, "At least consider it."

Kelli came in to where we were, in a hurry for us to get to the pool. She put away the groceries and told me Brianna and Rachel were already there, waiting for us.

As the summer moved on, thanks to the diet and exercise, my shape continued to change as my waistline shrank.

Puberty was having it's affect on me too, as my hips and breast were still growing, although not as fast as a regular girl. Compared to where Kelli was at my age, I'm still really behind.

All three of us, Aunt Jill, Kelli and I have become so used to me living as a girl that we regularly see each other in nothing more than lingerie and I've seen Kelly nude several times.

This, maybe more than anything else, is starting to cause me to find myself having thoughts of resentment over the remaining difference between us as I become more and more of a girl otherwise.

One night, just having changed into her sleep clothes, Kelli left my room and I lay in bed thinking about her nude body.

The first thing that struck me was how her nudity in front of me didn't even affect me any more like it did in the beginning. It didn't make me uncomfortable, my heart rate didn't increase, and my tiny . . . manhood . . . if you can call it that, no longer reacted.

What did this mean?

As I questioned it, I recalled what Aunt Jill had told me about it being obvious what she believed I was going to choose.

In my head I might still be unable to admit it, but in my heart, did I believe she was right? I think I did.

Three nights later, I told Aunt Jill I wanted to talk to her and it was during this conversation at her kitchen table that I told her I'd reached a decision.