21 - why me?

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Holy shit I'm tired.

You get under your covers and snuggle against your pillow, ready to sleep but a tapping sound against your window makes your eyes snap open ruining your peaceful vibe. You freeze in your bed and wait for that tapping sound again so you didn't feel so delusional.

tap tap tap

You pray to god that it just a pointy branch hitting your window because of the wind but that wasn't the case. There were no trees outside your window. Your dad had cut them down because of all the news about trees destroying houses, especially one storey houses such as yours.

tap tap tap

You throw the covers off you and draw back the curtains to find Cesar Diaz standing outside your window. Just the person you wanted to see at 10:30 pm. Can you sense the sarcasm?

"Open your window," he mouths as you stand there contemplating before finally sighing and unlocking the window, sliding it upwards so he could step in.

"Hey."

"Don't 'hey' me Cesar. Not after the shit you just pulled with Monse," you whisper-yell, keeping it on the down low in case your dad woke up. You cross your arms over your chest and keep a confident front, "what do you want?"

"To apologize. I'm not usually like that."

"I know. I grew up with you remember?"

"I understand your upset--"

"Upset?!" You yell a bit too loud which led to Cesar clasping a hand over your mouth as you immediately remove it, "Cesar, you think I'm upset? I'm furious," you yell softly, "you literally embarrassed Monse in front of your entire family, saying how you were going to eat her out. For what? For an impression? To get on the Santos Gang good list? And don't you dare twist my words, around, I was there remember? What the hell happened to the sweet Cesar Diaz I grew up with? Where did he go? Hm?"

"I'm still me y/n," he takes a step forward as you only took a step back.

"Well the show you put on today didn't seem like it. The Cesar I know would never betray the crew," you breath deeply to calm the fuming bubbles inside you, "why did you say it anyway? Time for the truth to come out."

"Once Oscar got out of prison, I knew he'd go after you," your eyebrow raises in confusion. Me? "But once he realized you'd left town he changed his target to Monse. So I claimed her. To protect her. I had expected it to be a temporary thing but instead, the complete opposite happened and everything just blew up in my face. Things just escalated and I couldn't stop it in time. No one was suppose to know. Not Ruby, not Jamal, especially not Monse."

You swallow sharply, "but you did it, didn't you? After I left," He locks eye contact with you as he freezes on what to say, "be truthful here Diaz."

He inhales and eventually nods as you raise your brows from shock, "wow. No wonder she was so worked up over a stupid rumor cause it's true and she thought if the rest knew it'd tear the crew apart," you realize.

An awkward silence fills the air as he leans against the wall, hands in his pocket while you sat on your bed, "why are you telling me this? Why come here of all places? Why not tell Monse yourself?"

"Because whatever happened was just an experimental thing. I still see her as a friend, nothing more. I don't like her as anything more. I can't."

"Why not? Why would Oscar even go after me? I didn't have sex with you."

We lock eyes for a little bit before changing to an upright position, "I should go."

"Cesar..." you stand up as he pauses at the sound of his name with one foot inside the room while the other was outside, "...why not? Why me?"

He looks up at you with sadness in his chocolate colored eyes, "because it was always you and it always will be."

Emotions get caught up in your throat as you watch him leave with shock written all over your face. Your phone vibrates on your nightstand as you lean over to see.

Cesar // 10:56 pm
Make sure u lock ur window. Sweet dreams mi Amor

Sweet dreams Cesar.

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