When The Last Ember Falls

Eight

Eris:

I was ready to be alone after today. Not that I didn't enjoy Cindra's company, but I only wanted silence. I wanted a moment without the pressure of High Lord duties and Bronwynn's soul-sucking presence.

After letting my guardian go for the night, I realized I hadn't bathed or brushed my hair in sometime. I hadn't done much for myself as of late. Too focused on rebuilding this court and avoiding painful thoughts. No wonder I was turning into such a wreck.

I winnowed home, retreating to the bathing room in my chambers. I undressed from the same clothes I had worn for days. Ripe is phrasing it nicely. I guess being High Lord meant not receiving words of criticism anymore.

I dipped into the steaming copper tub, gooseflesh dashing across my freckled and scarred skin. I sunk deeper, letting the hot water encase me. Another day down, an endless amount to go.

Closing my eyes, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I could feel the veins pressing against my neck as I continued. The scorching water flooding into my mouth and nostrils as I gave in to my release of emotions.

Clutching onto the edge of the tub, nearly denting the metal, I raised my head out of the water. I didn't open my eyes, I didn't want to at this point. Not when I finally recalled a moment of joy, one of her and I together.

Her hand grasping mine for dear life, a fearful pulse racing against our connecting skin. "That hurts you know," I had whispered into her ear, my lips nearing her cartilage. I wanted to kiss her then, to let her know that she wasn't alone in the dark. She never would be.

I saw her studying the fire wrapping around my legs, the kaleidoscope of patterns I formed to distract her. "Try it," I encouraged her, sending a small bulb of fire from my feet to hers. "Focus on wrapping the fire around your toes first," I suggested, feeling my own flames on the verge of exploding from her touch alone.

I replayed the moment we kissed, the desperation to wake her from her living nightmare. I couldn't think, only react in the way I knew she would hate most. I pressed my lips into hers and when she still didn't push me away, I felt myself crumble. So, I stuck my serpent tongue into her mouth. She wasn't expecting it, finally behaving in the way I hoped.

Her slap didn't hurt, it was the rejection that did. The surprising moment of wanting to give her everything, including myself and realizing I would never be accepted in that way.

I sunk back into the water with my eyes open this time, staring at the warped ceiling. I had practiced at a young age to hold my breath, to keep everything in. This was no different.

Her happiness is all I could ask her, I reminded myself. It's all I should want.

It was unbearably quiet as I brushed my teeth and combed my hair. The sound of my breathing, the thumping of my pulse—I only wished to hear her laugh. At one point I swore I did.

Turning to my left, I half expected to see her. Ever the desperate man, I thought I heard her again. A wraith or a memory, either way it didn't matter.

I was going mad.

Not needing to dry off, I slid between the covers. I adjusted against the mounds of pillows, nodding off as soon as I exhaled the memory of us.

All I could see is black, a weighted darkness similar to when I winnowed. A shadow land of sorts. I turned around and around, nothing.

Releasing a heavy breath, I felt it then.

A light—a soft and warm caress. An invisible pull towards a pin sized ray of sunlight. One increasing in length as I drew closer; a set of doors were cracked opened.