Tales of a Closeted Fanboy

The Enigma of Loey

Baekhyun couldn't sleep.

It's strange for a fanboy like him to go to sleep at ten in the evening when he could be doing other stuff like going on to Twitter, reading fanfictions or watching re-runs of the EXO members' dramas or movies. But tonight, Baekhyun just wanted sleep. He wanted to forget about a lot of things - Chanyeol, his own sexuality, the kiss…

Oh god that fucking kiss.

Baekhyun fucking kissed a boy for the first time and he actually liked it. He could still feel the way Chanyeol's lips move against his, so light and soft, like he was coaxing a scared deer. The moment he had leaned away should have been the part where it all ends.

But no, it wasn't.

"Do you feel something?" Chanyeol had repeated his first question.

Baekhyun had wanted to deny it, like he always did. To push Chanyeol away and call him a motherfucking faggot and that he shouldn't ever talk to him again. But Baekhyun couldn't just do all that. He could, but the way Chanyeol stared at him so intently, demanding him nothing but the truth, he couldn't just say no.

"Yes…" Baekhyun uttered hesitantly.

And that's how Baekhyun found himself on top of Chanyeol's lap, whimpering helplessly as the older kissed him languidly with those wonderful and sinful lips that seemed to slowly bind him into a spell that is impossible to break away from. His large and calloused hands were splayed over his tan skin, touching him in ways Baekhyun didn't know would actually make him squirm and feel good. Their skins were burning against each other, wet and warm as their temperatures reached a high. The want and need was so evident that it's thick in the atmosphere that surrounded them. It was like a dome, thick enough that if Baekhyun just reached out, he would definitely be able to touch something solid.

The kiss went on for so many minutes. Baekhyun didn't want to stop, but it could only go for so long until they needed to catch their breaths and Baekhyun goes back to his senses.

"This is wrong…" Baekhyun uttered, panting hotly underneath Chanyeol's critical gaze. "Hyung, let's stop."

And just like that, everything went back to normal. Well, at least they tried to for the duration of their little trip. Indeed, nothing extremely out of the ordinary happens except for the occasional tension that suspends in between them during some moments. But nevertheless, they manage to thoroughly enjoy the trip until the end. It wasn't until Baekhyun goes back home that the memory of the kiss starts bugging him like a nightmare, haunting him both night and day. It's so vivid and detailed in his mind that he inches towards insanity a little bit everytime he remembers it.

And because of that, Baekhyun starts avoiding Chanyeol once they were back at school. It isn't intentional at first, since it was just a week until exams and he usually isolates himself and avoids stepping foot in the library, preferring to study at home instead. It's only when he was deep in thought and staring at Chanyeol from a distance away while some guys corner him up did he realize that he is intentionally avoiding him. Baekhyun didn't like this at all, finding Chanyeol's company quite enjoyable. But he's afraid that if he sees him, the kiss might come back to him more frequently and he might not be able to control himself.

Chanyeol is, of course, sensitive enough to realize that he hasn't been seeing Baekhyun anywhere around campus. Whenever he tries to ask Baekhyun's classmates where he is, they would say that he went somewhere or he has already gone home. He religiously calls him up and messages him but Baekhyun doesn't answer anything from him. He doesn't have the guts to do so.

From: Chanyeol
Why aren't you talking to me

From: Chanyeol
did i do something wrong