No Love Attached

chapter twenty seven : cigarette daydreams

| No Love Attached |
chapter twenty seven : cigarette daydreams
•••

Time is a weird thing. It has this ability to burn at a glacial pace. While at other times, it's like a wildfire, moving too fast for anyone to keep up long enough to put it out.

Between what I did with Damon, what Leo did to me, my conversations with Penney, Alec, and Matthew, and my new business proposition with Aaron, it felt as if my life had moved faster in a couple of days than it did in four years.

My eyes stayed fixed on the screen of the computer. It was all a blur of emails with words like "edit", "contracts", "drop this client", under the subject line. In my drafts, was a letter addressed to Matthew, Alec, and the rest of the board. It was just been sitting in that folder, like a loaded gun, waiting me to pull the trigger that was the "send" button.

"Vera," Penney's loud voice interrupted my thoughts. Being too caught up in myself, I hadn't realized she had even let herself into my office in the first place.

I looked up to see her hair in a tight pony-tail, a change from the usual blonde mess of waves I was used to seeing. Her eyes were accompanied by concealer covered dark circles.   Probably a result of late-night partying mixed with vodka induced tears.

"We should talk."

"Penney, I'm in the middle of an email, can we do this later?" I lied, I was not writing an important email, nor did I plan on doing this later.

"You haven't been to work in days. You didn't even come to my birthday dinner. Thirty is a big one!"

A scoff escaped my lips, "I'm sorry, Penney. I sent a gift," I said sharply. "I wasn't exactly in a celebrating mood."

The room went silent for a second, other than for the clicking of her tongue. I had once again pulled out the dead fiancé anniversary card, something I found myself doing more and more.

Her crossed arms and borderline teary eyes, told me what was coming next. An apology.

"I know, I'm sorry. I should have called. Are you okay?" She asked with a genuine concern.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I made the mistake of looking into her eyes. All I could see was my fuck up with Damon. My gaze quickly shifted with guilt. "And can you get those contacts on my desk by the end of the day?"

"Vera, come on. Don't be like this. The other day was stupid. You know I didn't mean what I said." She tried to move on. And maybe if I didn't go and do what I did, I'd be more open to the idea.

"Penney, I'd really prefer it we didn't discuss this at work."

Not confronting the problem felt foreign to me. I was always one up for arguing, so when my best friend turned out to be sleeping with  a man who made me vomit in my mouth, I had to bite my tongue from saying anything. Literally. If I bit down any harder, blood would certainly be drawn.

     I couldn't let her apologize, no matter how many times she tried, knowing that if more than three words came out, I'd somehow scream, "I had sex with Damon".

      She stood there with her hand on her hip and expecting eyes. Her next apology was on the tip of her tongue, I could feel it.