You'll be fine.(cheater levi x wife / reader)

6

i'll be fine

i'll be fine 

i'll be fine 

i'll be fine.

If you say it enough times you'll believe it so you believed it and that's how it was when you left the hospital. the doctors tried giving you anti-depressant. i mean after the stunt with your arms your friends kept a real close eye on you. not just your friends but everyone you had met. when they asked you about it yet all you'll do is smile and say.

"all great things must come to an end" but of course they didn't take it as joke but you just laughed nervously, but no one had spoke about your miscarriages. . . You later found out it was twins. Will knew better then say anything about it. you would often stay up late drinking some wine even after levi had came home. you had became a bit more vacant. no one seemed to notice it but it'll be fine cause your okay. Levi began staying later and later . .  but it's okay cause you'll be fine.

You where at work giving Mr.Wang his regular he smiled at you as you smiled back it was time for your break and waving off your new employee you went to the park. You had brought along a snack as you kept yourself company with your thoughts. William offered to take you out for lunch but you politely declined. Yet as you continued to walk your thoughts kept wondering off to that night. That night you finally caught him. I mean he didn't know you caught him. . They didn't see you walk in. . So I just didn't matter anymore . . Right? Your thoughts where interrupted by a honking as you look up you see a car as you closed your eyes screaming waiting for impact that never came. Instead there was impact on your side and you landed on something so soft but you could hear heavy breathing.

"i swear to god you fatty patty you owe me" you knew that voice you looked up to your  one and only william. you smiled a bit nervously. 

" i wasnt paying attention . . sorry." you got up from him and smiled. "thank you william." he sighed and got up and as he placed a hand on your head. 

"what where you doing anyways. .  how could you be so stupid! I could of lost you if i wasn't there where the hell would you be now!?" he sighs and hugs you and holds you close. "if i lost you (y/n). . i would loose everything" you let out a soft grunt and pulled away ashamed but he kept you close. He sighs noticing this "lets. . lets go and eat " you nodded s he bought you guys some sticky dumplings as you sat across from the playground as you looked at the children playing as you smiled a bit but it was a sorrowful smile. Placing a hand around your stomach like a mother would do trying to protect the baby from the abuse. . His voice cut you out of your trance.

"how are you feeling?" he leaned against the bench and looked at the playground. "and don't lie to me. . i hate when you do cause i can no longer tell if you are or not anymore. . " ( going to use the metaphor of drowning)

You stared a bit blankly " . . .You know when your drowning you dont actually inhale till right before you black out. . " he looked over at you your voice startled him a bit  "the instinct to not let any water in your mouth is so strong that you wont open your mouth until you feel like your head is exploding . . . then when you finally let it in it stops hurting" you had chosen your words carefully as you   spoke knowing better to not alarm those who may be ease dropping. "I'm fine." 

"but your not fine (y/n). . . "he glared at you as you continued on.

"yeah, asides from the jumpiness, the constant overwhelming crushing fear that something terrible is going to happen when it already did happen. . . william i lost my husband i lost my childern. .  is there anything else i can loose. .  its like a panic attack . .  its like i cant even breathe.. "