You'll be fine.(cheater levi x wife / reader)

14

"BANG"

~levi p.o.v~

that's the last thing i heard, the last thing i saw was her face, i wouldn't mind going any other way, but i choose not leave things like i did with her. i love her but after everything i have done i wish death would come sooner.  i would of never assume that i would die not protecting (y/n) in time and me being shot by a ball-less man who had tormented her. by now she is probably bleeding out in my arms as i hold on top of me because i didn't want her to feel the hard cold ground of earth,as we fell.  (y/n) im sorry. .  i should of kept my pants on, i should of kept my shit straight i should of held you instead of having you wait for me every 'late nights', you where my answer, i still have a lot of shit to learn i admit but all i know at this moment is that i cant live without you. i now  realized how fragile and precious you truly are. you may not be perfect but your perfect for me, i have to admit you where just another girl for me when i asked you out just to make William's blood boil, but as we both lay here and await our death i wouldn't have changed a thing between us.  Our laughs, our smiles, our hurt, our pain we both share of parental abuse, no mothers whom have claimed that they loved us but left so easily without goodbye, and bad choices. i guess i am one of those at the moment but i assume you would of loved me throughout it, and we both know you still do even though you shouldn't, but you do.  i looked at you till my eyes closed one last time. my thoughts only on her. hopping she makes it out even without me. 

~6 years ago~  

i searched everywhere for her thinking that something bad must of happened to her it was our  date night she never have been late to any of our dates but she didnt show up to this one so i searched the town for her till i found her on a hill by a pond she has been acting strange lately so it just came out of my mouth so easily.

 "you haven't been yourself lately. . ." i sat next to her as she hugged her knees it got rather awkward when she didnt answer and i saw that stupid note in her hand. i knew what the note was it was when i had asked her out as a cruel joke but some how i fell in love with this sad pathetic girl. "whats going on?" her eyes darted towards me as they flled with tears yet not a single one dropped. 

"always" she looked away and closed her eyes tightly "thats what where supposed to have.. " her eyes met mine for a split second till looked away once more. her eyes expressed anger and hurt. "i said that i loved you" knowing her she meant it she said that she only says that to those who deserve it. .  'and god i wanted you so bad ,  but it feels like you gave up on us before we began an us.

"I gave up on us!?" i stood up angerly.

"yes!" you stood up just as mad even madder as you crinkled the paper.

"thats great! you wanna talk truth!? lets tell the truth!" my creaming frightened you as you blinked back tears. "YOU gave up on me." you only stared at me a tear had fell down your cheek and i looked away with red cheeks and sighed. "you just didnt care" i t was lie i knew you did i was just scared you where going to leave. you placed your hands onthe side head tears streaming down as you felt and looked broken by my words. 

"you said i was great, you said that i can be great, you said that we were destined to be together. . you said it to the world you said it to me! And i wish you never had because you didnt mean any of it! " you threw the paper in my face and stared at my grey dull eyes and cried, but i did mean it. you placed your hands in front of your mouth and just cried. 

"i wanted to apologies." your hands fell to the side and stared at me with hope as i closed my eyes. 

"good. . ."

"let me finish, i said that i wanted to. " my eyes opened as i just stared at you with an annoyed expression.  you slowly stopped crying as i looked down at you. "but then i realized i'm not sorry. "

"and you expect me to be okay with that?"

"i didn't say you where supposed to be okay with it, i just said im not sorry." you looked down and allowed the last tears to fall "you know what i really am? selfish " your head lifted as i placed a hand on your cheek as i wiped some of tears.  "because i make bad decisions that hurt you." i moved my hand back down i dont know why but my eyes teared up "because thats who i am! and im not going to change! and there is no apology in the world that can encompasses  all  the reasons that i am wrong. " you where frowning as i spoke i could tell you where upset about me talking myslef down but i didnt care.  you closed your eyes took a deep breath and wiped your face. 

"fine." your voice was back to normal back to its emotionless tone " but im not sorry either." you had a flash back to the time we sat here happily as i wore that stupid cat shirt you bought me as you held a pineapple and i called it cute i felt stupid but you continued on and said yeah it is cute i mean we where talking about a damn fruit. "im not sorry i met you."   my mind went back to the same spot as we laid next to each other as you where blushing.  "im not sorry that knowing you made me question everything. " you sighed and closed your eyes " youve been a terrible person.  a tear made its way down my face thank god your eyes where closed. you then looked up with sad eyes "you made all the wrong choices and out of all the choices ive made this proves to be the worst one, but i am not sorry i am in love with you! 

~levi now~

i would never forget that day.