Parade Gerard x reader

Bonus 2

Okay, so after a millennia (*refrains from making a Crown The Empire joke*), it's finally here: Bonus #2. I really enjoyed writing this one and found it one of my most hysterical parts in this series, so enjoy :) (Also, please keep quoting vines and Brandon Rogers. Reading those comments make my day)

(Note: Bonus chapters are not in chronological order as this scene happened long before Bonus 1 took place)

I  loved my job. Life -or death, I presume- was going good. I have a loving daughter with my dream husband and I was performing with my him and all my friends, making a good cause. Sometimes, I'd be rewarded with watching the most emotional reunions of couples or friends when they found each other in the parade. They were always so heartwarming. This reunion, however, not so much.

Things were going fine and the band was actually playing some State Champs until someone in the crowd yelled, "WHAT'S UP, GLITTER DICKS!?"

Confused and the slightest bit offended, we all scanned the crowd to see who said that and so help me, Brendon Urie was standing at the foot of the float smiling at us like an idiot. It took a lot of constraint for me to not faint right there on the floor. Gerard, who was used to celebrities since he seemed to know all of them, smiled. "Hey, Brendon."

"Hey, Gee." Brendon replied. "Lovely float you got here. Mind telling me where the fuck I am?"

"BRENDON, YOU IGNORANT SLUT!" Someone else yelled. Another person had pushed their way through the crowd and something about the guy seemed very familiar.

Brendon looked over at the other guy. "What the fuck?"

The guy snorted. "Yeah, nice seeing you again." When Brendon's face still had the look of confusion, the guy frowned. "You remember me, faggot, right?"

Brendon's lips quirked. "Of course. I remember all my fans. Would you like an autograph?" The other man looked livid, but Brendon only laughed. "I'm just kidding, Ryan, of course I remember you."

Ryan? I thought. As in Ryan Ross? Holy shit, what happened to him? He looks so different. 

Ryan looked a little more relieved, but there was still anger in his eyes. "Anyway, shithead, you're dead and this is the afterlife. Meaning your sorry ass died and now you're here."

"Dead?" Brendon looked at his surroundings. "But how can that be? I didn't-" Brendon's eyes widened. "Oh my god. The freak chocolate accident."

Frank laughed. "What even the fuck is that?"

Brendon's eyes turned on him. "You don't want to know." His voice went low and his eyes got kinda scary. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Um," Gerard started. "Do you guys want to get up here?"

Brendon shrugged. "Sure." He climbed up on the float and offered Ryan his hand.

Ryan glared at him. "I can make it without your help." He hissed. Brendon just shrugged again as Ryan clambered onto the float. And just like that, there were hugs and introductions. The band greeted Brendon and Ryan first and they introduced them to everyone else. 

"Holy shit, I've really missed you guys." Brendon said.

"Too bad Pete isn't here right now." Ray said. "He would have loved to see you and Ryan again."

Ryan looked up from the floor. "Pete's here too?" He voice sounded excited, but sad at the same time.

Brendon turned on him. "Oh, so you miss Pete and get a reaction when you find out he's dead, but you're so cold and bitter to me?"

"I'm sorry you're dead." Ryan said honestly. "But Pete wasn't the one who left me when I needed him most."

"Ryan, what the fuck are you talking about? You left the band. You left me. Do you have any idea how I felt?"

"Bren, you left me for a fucking woman. A woman. And then you get with another man! I though I meant something to you."

"What? Sarah and Dallon? Dallon was nothing. And, well...Sarah provided me with something in a relationship that you couldn't."

"What? A vagina?" Ryan hissed. "Or a set of tits? What's the fucking deal? I thought it didn't matter to you which way you swung."

I could tell Brendon was trying hard not to snap. Ryan was testing his patience. I looked around at anyone to see if they had the intention of stopping them, but everyone looked too engrossed in their conversation to do anything. I decided not to do anything either.

"No, you cocksucker." Brendon exasperated. "Sarah never called me things like 'faggot' or 'bitch' or 'limp-dick hippie queer'. Ryan, no offense, but I felt our relationship was kind of abusive. And then I felt you drift away from me. I tried talking to you, but you wouldn't talk back. Do you see how that killed me?"

"Fine." Ryan said quietly. "But there's a reason why I didn't tell you what was wrong. I was protecting you."

"Protecting me?" Brendon made a face. "Protecting me from what?"

Ryan looked around the float. He made a mental note of everyone's faces. "I haven't told you about the real reason why I left the band, have I? Well, sit your asses down, because this is a long story."