Be My Boyfriend (ft. Narry)

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[note]: last chapter is truly fantastic. The feedbacks it received are much appreciated. Thank you so, so, so much! Please keep the voting and commenting up! Honestly, although I'm very thankful for all the votes I've gotten, the comments motivate me even more. So please comment if you've enjoyed the chapter! I'm highly grateful for everything.

Love always, Millie.

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[unedited]

5. Heebie Jeebies

I've always wondered why the noun we all know as love is called 'love'. The origin of love is something I'm too lazy to search through the web, but if it has something to do with Adam and Eve getting cast away from the heavenly place, then there's no reluctance when I say this: I hate love.

We all know this. Love is powerful. Love is manipulative. Love is annoying. Love is evil. Love is love. But why do people say it's beautiful? Love is just a ruthless game that has no end. Because after love, another love comes and after that love, another one enters. It's endless. Love is endless. Love is forever. And you know what? I hate it. Why do they even say that love is blind, or the rest of its ridiculous metaphorical definitions? It's stupid. I hate stupidity.

Love ruins life - I've learnt that when Mom and Dad have divorced when I was six or so. Gideon helped me go through the intensity the separation has caused, which was actually very easy since I was just kid by then, but still.

The feeling of having a non-existent father is one of those feelings that brought me down as a child. I remember when I had my first baseball match. Mom was out at the dry cleaning store, Gemma was at her friend's house, but Gideon was there. Of course he's there. We were in the same team. And Gideon's father was there. He almost risked his job for his son's game. That feeling - that feeling that Gideon must have felt during that game, knowing that someone's there, cheering for you, I didn't get to feel that feeling.

The past few days weren't very spontaneous. The way each day passes by so swiftly catches me off guard as I become slowly aware that it's already the next one. Through these days, I haven't been able to encounter anyone except for Gretel. I presume that Darling has hidden herself inside the crowd of the corridors or just naturally hides herself somewhere. The people in our table haven't realised that homophobia is a historic crap that they should leave and move on to something new and friendly. Although they pretend I don't exist, I don't mind them at all. They're not big significance in my life so whether they plan to erase my existence until I'm 6 ft. on the ground, then that's up to them. The only person I've wanted to talk to is Louis.

Maybe it's desperation that has made me want to chat with him so bad, but Louis is the one that replaced Gideon's role in my life. I'm not in love with him or something along that line, because that is simply ridiculous, but I don't want to lose him either. Although I'm grateful that Gretel and Liam have been there for me, what I need is a friend who knows all of my secrets. And that friend is Louis.

It's Thursday's lunch when Niall walks up to me as I eat my muffin. The people in our table stare at him, probably uncomfortable once again because of Niall's presence. Niall is wearing an indigo scarf around his neck, which compliments his bright yellow tank top that's patterned with London signatures, glittering sky blue leggings, and neon pink shoes. I can hear someone from the boys laughing at Niall's clothes and I just face them with a brow lift. Only I can laugh at Niall's clothes and I do it mentally.

When I see Niall in his attire, I speak aloud, "Are you wearing leggings?" I'm pretty certain that leggings are usually worn by women.

Niall looks down to glance at his lap. He lifts his head and smiles. "Yes I am."