Be My Boyfriend (ft. Narry)

how

This is it. Chapter 10. Good times, good times.

I'm probably gonna cry bc you guys are so precious it hurts and maybe bc I'm halfway to chapter 20, which is probably the end or something...

there goes the tears...

NOT PROOFREAD, SCANNED, SKIMMED, WHATEVER.

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[unedited]

10. Gideon Parker

"I was trying to," Niall sighs. "I was trying not to fall in love with you. I suppose I failed."

There's silence floating above, swirling like a stormy sound of nothing. We exchange gazes and let the noises from the town overwhelm the whole roof as I squirm on my position, trying to comprehend the words released from his mouth. My throat dries, my heart races, my stomach churns, and my mind blanks. I try to hold onto reality, but flashbacks come to me. The moments Niall and I share dance around my memory and I wince. This is the result of spending time with someone that fascinates you; you fall in love.

The thing with love is, it has to be shared by two lovers. Whatever Niall is feeling for me, I don't return it. I'm well-composed that he's simply a friend to me. There's nothing more in the term I used. Niall's infatuation for me is preposterous and it may slip away if I avoid it. That's how I do, at least. To not perceive an emotion, you must flee from it. But Niall is not just an ordinary human being. It is established that he's special, and I can never read his emotions. I'm not willing to ruin us, but I can't lie. Lying is the only sin I can never do unless it's for the better, so I say to him,

"I'm sorry."

And maybe it's the worst phrase that shall be told to express guilt and selfishness, but maybe they're the only words I can say in order to let me be understood. I'm not in love with Niall, a fact that I've expressed mentally well enough. I've treated him with friendliness only, not with infatuation. I don't even know why he has fallen in love with me. There's nothing to like about me in a way that isn't platonic. I don't want to list my features, but hell, this is beyond surprising.

Niall loves me. Niall loves me. Niall loves me.

NIALL LOVES ME.

I shake my head at the bewildering thought in bizarre. How foolish. I slowly stand up from my seat on the roof and dust my lap, remaining to shake my head in shock. I whisper another apology and am about to walk away, but Niall moves mellifluously. He takes my wrist and I watch him with wide eyes. His face looks pained; sadness sketched on his face but is masked by a transparent smile. I can see through him. He's unhappy. Not particularly upset, but unhappy nonetheless.

"Please," he whispers in a tone I can barely put up if it's truly said by him. It's uncharacteristically done by him, and I hate to be aware that I'm the cause of this mess. "Please let me elaborate. I never wish for us to be together, but please listen as I speak."

"Okay," I forcefully pull my hand away from his grasp, in which he gasps at.

"The day when we were in the hospital was the day I've begun to feel something extraordinary about you. When you told me to read Aesthetic Affinity to you, I felt as if I was in a dream. Nobody gave me attention as you did, so I've developed an emotion towards you that surprised not only you, but me as well. When you rested your head on my lap, I slowly watched you fall asleep. And as you slowly fell asleep, I slowly fell for you. And then I realised, I was in love with you and there was no way to avoid those certain feelings unless I ignore you, which resulted to me falling harder for you. But I know to myself that there's no reason for you to return my feelings and so I'm letting you know that I understand, but please keep in mind that I'm in love with you."