An Arrogant Beggar // Jungkook FF

Chapter 12

Forced to stand at a distance, Jungkook watched you and LeeJoon from afar, waiting for your conversation to come to an end. His arms were crossed over his chest, as he observed the way you were staring at him, still looking taken aback by his presence. 

And how could you not be? It had been so long since you last saw him, and his presence stirred up a whirlwind of emotions within you, along with many memories.

"You disappeared for so long, I am glad you are okay."  LeeJoon's words fall flat in the tense air between you, even though he appears to be trying his best to talk as normally as possible. But your response was sharp, filled with the bitterness of past wounds.

"The last time I saw you, you were yelling at me and accusing me that I killed your beloved brother and now you come and say this. Just get to the point, I have no time to waste for you." You responded harshly as the fond feelings you had back then for him, had remained absolutely nothing.

The memory of accusations and pain weighed heavily on both of you. Time had passed, but the scars remained, etched deep into your heart. After your parents' loss, losing your best friend had added a lot to the change you withstood, as life was forcing you to grow up too soon, to face the harsh reality of life.

LeeJoon sighed deeply at your response then he looked at you carrying the weight of regret in his orbs. "I apologize." His whispering words echoed in the darkness of the night, leaving you with eyes wide open, staring at him for hearing those words, was unexpected.

You hadn't even dared to hope for closure after all these years, let alone him saying sorry about his past actions and taking back his past words.

"I know I acted impulsively but that was because I was hurt. However, as the years passed, I understood that it wasn't your fault nor anyone's fault." His sincerity brought with it a flood of memories and emotions. The little girl who once admired him had vanished, replaced by a woman hardened by pain and loss, yet those words seemed like they had brought that side of you back, in a bittersweet and melancholic way.

"I acted out of hurt, placing blame where it didn't belong. Over the years, I've realized it wasn't your fault, nor anyone's," He concluded, leaving you with a feeling of sadness as memories were being brought back into your mind.

He was the man you liked, as a little girl you had an innocent crush on him from the first time you saw him yet at the moment that you needed someone to comfort you and stay by your side, he instead blamed you, making you feel worse than you already were.

Life had shown its harsh face to you and honestly, you weren't far from doing what your best friend had done. It was not that you were stronger than him or that you had any hope to keep you nor was it that you were blaming yourself less than he did. It was just that he did it before you, teaching you another life lesson.

Death is always gonna be there, in every corner, in every second of your life but you wake up again and again to a new morning, still breathing. You could choose death at any moment or actually death can choose you at any moment yet death is no escape nor a destination.

The pain you felt when he died showed you how much alive you were because it seemed you were not as dead inside as you thought. After all, you could feel the pain. His pain.

And since that day you decided to live a life no matter what hardships it will bring because, till the day death chooses you, there is gonna be a moment you will smile again, a moment that will bring you joy and make you happy and no matter how small or rare those moments may be, it is worth it to live expecting them, living them and letting them pass through for new ones to come be it bad or good.