Guarded

14

Harry’s POV

I sat on the bed, taking in the knowledge I had just processed. From what I had read, he had been depressed about hiding being gay. It had just been me that pushed him over the edge. I thought of Annaleise’s face when she told me he was dead.

She was ghostly pale and her eyes were emotionless. The words that barely escaped her lips were nothing more than a whisper. She looked empty as if all the life had drained from her before she ran out the door and started out the car.

I had instinctively followed her but she had needed to go alone. She was quiet when she returned hours later. She looked empty still. I had waited up for her all night, listening for her car to pull in the driveway. I heard her pull in around six in the morning and watched as she sat in her car for a while.

I walked out a few minutes later to coax her inside. I just wanted to be there for her. I wanted to show her that I could support her and whatever she wanted or needed, I was there, ready and willing.

I had followed her up to her bedroom. She barely spoke to me the whole time. She invited me to her bed and I wanted to hold her but I kept my distance until she climbed on top of me and proceeded to have sex with me.

It was some of the best sex we’ve had. I let her take the lead until I couldn’t take the teasing anymore and wanted her to be mine. I fell asleep with her in my arms for the first time in six years and was content. She was mine again.

I woke up the next day alone and in a panic. I thought I had dreamed everything, but looking around I saw I was in her room and it wasn’t a dream. I snuggled up next to her pillow, taking in the scent of her. It smelled like vanilla and I remembered how vanilla was her favorite scent.

I spent the next day with her as she wished. We climbed the hills in Hollywood and I listened while she talked vaguely about Cost. I didn’t push the conversation. I let her say what she wanted to say and she would talk about it when she was ready. Our relationship was too fragile still for me to force anything.

We left the mountain when it was dark out and went to some place called In-and-Out Burger. Typical American fast food, but it was good. I more so enjoyed watching her eat, taking huge bites and dipping her French fries in her milkshake. She reminded me fourteen-year-old Annaleise, the girl I had fallen in love with. The girl in front of me had seemed more guarded until this exact moment.

I had been guarded too until I had seen her again. And then all the walls I had built up had come crashing down.

I loved when she sat back and sighed and complained about how full she was. The sexiest thing in the world was seeing her with smudges of mustard on her cheek and French fry salt all over her. I fell in love with her all over again right in that moment.

We went to the hotel and I booked the most expensive room. She offered to pay for half and I declined. She would be appalled knowing I had just spent almost $3,500 on a hotel room for less than 24 hours. But I didn’t care. I wanted the best for her.

The bathroom was the reason I had chosen that room. The soaking tub was huge and filled with different water jets and she had wanted to smoke weed that moment. I knew it had been a good idea to get some off of Louis. She must’ve practiced a bit over the years because she didn’t throw up this time like she had the first time we smoked together.