Guarded

17

Harry’s POV

I was able to keep down the crackers that Annaleise had given me until we had to leave the hotel to get to the airport. I was silent during the car ride to LAX and was thankful that everyone let me be in silence and just chalked my distance up to being sick.

Despite the fact that I had gotten physically sick all morning, I also felt sick mentally. I felt sick that I had been so selfish and had gone to such manipulative lengths in order to get Annaleise back. My conscience was literally eating away at me, one side arguing that it wasn’t my fault but another side arguing that if I hadn’t been so selfish that poor kid wouldn’t have died.

I was thankful for sleep once we boarded the plane for the short trip to Phoenix. We had rehearsal later on that evening since it was a new venue and I planned to sleep until then. But sleep didn’t come for me. My mind ran over the thoughts that had been haunting me once I found that note. I felt so disgusted with myself. I didn’t know what to say to Annaleise. She had sensed my distance but like the rest of my mates, she had just chalked it up to me being sick.

I noticed she had called me after our practice was over that evening and I didn’t return the call. I couldn’t form words to say knowing I had been the cause of all the pain she had felt over the last few days. When she had cried to me, made love to me, shared memories of Cost to me I had been supportive and there for her. I was the person she wanted to spend time while she tried to process her feelings. But I was the one who had caused her to feel the way she did.

I couldn’t fall asleep after practice either and finally after downing about ten mini-bottles of alcohol that were in the hotel room I was able to pass out. I awoke the next morning with a hangover and regretted drinking as much as I did but it seemed like alcohol was the only thing that numbed my feelings. The rest of the day passed slowly. I chatted idly with Niall, Liam, Zayn and Louis trying to keep up a pretense that everything was cool before our concert that evening.

Annaleise’s POV

I pulled up in front a small grey motel on the outskirts of the city. It was a bit odd of a place for someone to be staying, but I figured since Carissa mentioned the strained relationship with her parents she wouldn’t have wanted to stay with them. I checked the address a few times before I figured it had to be right and walked into the reception where Carissa who had been waiting for me greeted me. She smiled at me and hugged me. I glanced around the reception and noticed no one at the desk. There was a sign for hourly rooms from $24 on and a seedy picture of a half naked woman straddling a bull behind the desk.

The carpet in the motel was worn and clearly the furniture had seen better days and looked like it came from the set of a ‘70’s porno. I grimaced.

“Sorry,” Carissa had said. “I don’t have much money and this was the cheapest I could get around the city.”

“It’s okay, we could have done this at my house, though,” I said.

She led me down a darkly lit hallway and up a flight of concrete stairs. The balcony looked out onto the pool that was half filled with water and dead leaves. The concrete around the pool was littered in holes and was in desperate need of repair. Behind the pool was a parking lot and a few cars dotted the parking lot.