Torn (btsxreader)

13. Why?

you were in the shower.

Washing away the blood, and mentally trying to wash away the horrible memories. To clean yourself of the pain and the horrifying screams, and his giggles that came along with it. It sunk deep into your skin, as if it was happening all over again.

The warm water fell down your aching body. As you rubbed yourself feverishly, trying to erase the pain. The blood. All the dirt that covered your body. The memories.

Tears stained your face, yet going unnoticed as they merged with the lukewarm water falling upon you. Embracing you, trying to comfort you. To cleanse you. It may have removed filth from you physically, but mentally and spiritually, you were a boys favourite toy, abused and broken.

You still hurt. Mentally and now thanks to him physically.

By now you would consider yourself torn. Ripped into shreds by all those in this cruel world. Predators. Your predators. They broke and smashed you like you were nothing. Pieces that pierce only left. You were now sharp and cold. Rigid and stable.

Or maybe that was just an act.

And it was.

You could never be fine after what life has done to you.

You know that but you still try to conceal your pain and sadness.

Those people out there don't deserve your emotions to be payed out to them.

They are not worthy to see you.

Because if they did all they would do is harm even more.

That was what the human species was good at anyways, wasn't it?

Now you know true nature. There is always a devil hiding behind something. At this point, you don't think you'll ever find anyone that cares. And by now you have your own devils to carry. Your past. And now your present.

The warmth of the liquid comforted you, as you rubbed your cuts and bruises all while thinking these pessimistic thoughts.

Though it was rightly thought seeing your situation being so messed.

At the party the boys were less than angels but at least they weren't demons.

Right now they could be considered as worse.

They're steps, voices, auras and presence was absolutely frightening.

You stepped out of the shower drying the beads of water from your skin before putting the same dress on.

It now dirtied and soaked with bad memories. You crinkled you face in disgust, tears brimming once again.

You had no clothes, And they didn't care to provide any.

You wondered about him.

Was it really just a dream?

Had you imagined him sympathizing and smiling at you.

Had you imagined all of that. The time were he accepted you, understood you. Were you were finally cared about, be it little fraction or big.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why???

Why?????

WHY?????

You broke down, sobbing. You wanted it to be real. For someone in this hell whole to care, to empathize.

Just why couldn't it be real?

To be continued.............