Better Than I Know Myself

Chapter One

Chapter One (Jesse’s POV)

  “Ah dammit!” I yell out in frustration as I pace around my room while trying to avoid the boxes that clutter my bedroom floor.

I am regretting saying I would move across the country to live with my aunt, Emily. I truly believe military school would be better than moving to Portland. At least I would get to stay here in sunny Florida, than wet, cold Portland. Okay, maybe I’m overreacting on the weather, but still I would much rather stay in Florida. I can’t believe my dad had agreed to send me off like that. He should have just let me go to military school. After what I did I don’t deserve to have my life easy anymore. If anything I should suffer, god only knows what Holly went through or still is going through. However, not even he wants me here, if he did he wouldn’t have been so quick to send me away. I kick a stack of boxes. I watch as they fall over and my books scatter across the floor.

“Crap,” I bend down and start to pick up the books and place them back into the box.

Just as I am about to place the last book back into the box I stop. It is the book Holly got me for my birthday. It was a book I would have never considered reading, but for some reason she thought I would enjoy the book. Thinking back to that day, Holly was more excited about the book than I was. Even though it wasn’t the type of books I like to read, I still read it because she got it for me. She was right, I did enjoy the book. ‘See Jay I told you, and you said it was a girl book, but it isn’t just for girls. Just so you know there is like four other books in the series. We should go get them.’

I smile as I remember that day like it was yesterday. My fourteen year old sister got me to buy the whole series. I still remember the look the girl at the checkout had when she saw me buying the books. The way she smiled at me and told me she had never seen a guy buy those books, not even as a gift for someone else. What a fool I was to fall for that smile, it only led to trouble and me losing my sister. That was the day I met my cheating ex-girlfriend Alyson. She was everything I wanted in a girlfriend, but that was all an act and I was dumb enough to fall for it. I place the book in the box and close it just as my mom walks in.

“Are you almost done packing everything? The movers will be here later in the afternoon.” She asks as she looks around my nearly empty room.

I nod my head without looking at her. She really wants me gone from her life; she is sending everything I have to my Aunt Emily’s place.  Once I leave I could no longer call it home, not even my dad wants my stuff at his place or more like his new girlfriend, Willow, doesn’t. I know right? Willow that’s a type of tree. Since my parents’ divorce a few months ago, I hadn’t seen much of my dad. He would much rather spend all his time with his twenty-seven year old girlfriend than his only son. Deep down, I truly believe my mom blames me for my dad leaving her as well. Who would want to stay in a home with a troubled teenager? Now our relationship is even more strain than it was when Holly went missing. It wasn’t always like this, before all this happened we were a happy family.

We all took it hard especially my mom; she started drinking and I didn’t help the situation much when I started to get into trouble in school. When she got the call about me being kicked out of school for the sixth time, she had enough.  She had been drinking when she got the call from the school, so by the time I got home she was wasted and beyond pissed. I never even saw the first punch coming, nor do I really remember what happened after that. All I remember was waking up and feeling like I just got ran over. It was also one of the reasons my father wants to send me to my aunt’s. Even though he doesn’t show it often, I know he is worried of what would become of me if I stay with my mom.

“Look Jesse,” here it goes, her little speech about sending me away. “We are only doing this because it’s what is best for you. If you stay here you will just continue to get in trouble and at the rate you are going, no school in Florida will have you. Then, you are just going to be a high school dropout and you would just be living with me for the rest of your life.”