Better Than I Know Myself

Chapter Five

(Jesse's POV)

"Jay look at what I did in school today." Holly yells at me as I walk towards her in the school yard. She is holding up two friendship bracelets. "Do you like them? I did them to match the ones I wear." She says as she places them around my wrist.

"Of course I like them; I will always wear them because you made them." I smile at her and she smiles back at me. I place my arm around her shoulder and walk back to the car.

"Jay, can I ask you something?" I nod my head. "Why didn't you pick me up from school that day?"

I stop in my tracks and look at her, but she isn't the Holly I knew. Her skin is a chalky white color with sunken eyes. Part of her hair has fallen off in clamps to the ground. I step away from her, she isn't my sister.

"Jay, why did you forget about me, don't you love me?"

"You're not my sister; my sister doesn't look anything like you." I say as I walk back from the thing that claims to be my sister.

It walks closer me as it sticks out its hand.

"Don't touch me, you're not my sister!" I continue to walk backwards until I trip over a rock and fall to the ground.

"You left me there Jay, you left me there for a girl you didn't even like."

The words it said are true. I did leave Holly there for a girl I didn't even like. My eyes water as the lump in my throat grows.

"Sorry Holly, I messed up. I'm so sorry." I say as the tears start to fall. "I let you down and now you're gone and it's my entire fault." It places its hands on my face as it stares at me with its sunken eyes filled with pity.

"Why Jay, why didn't you just tell everyone you're a faggot?"

It moves its hand down to my neck, I can feel it tighten its grip around my throat. I claw at its hands as it tightens its grip.

"If you would have just told everyone I would still be alive. You killed me Jay and you don't even care."

I can't breathe; I can feel the last of the oxygen leaving my body and my vision growing dark. Until I feel something cold and wet wash over me. I shoot up in my bed gasping for air, until I feel a pair of arms go around me. I let the tears fall as I cry into my aunt's shoulder.

"It's alright Jesse, it was just a nightmare." My aunt says as she tries to calm me down. She rubs my back as my breathing starts to go back to normal.

I pull away from her as I wipe my eyes; I also notice I am wet.

"I'm sorry; I was trying to wake you when I heard you screaming in your sleep. However, you wouldn't wake up. I had to dump some cold water on you." She hands me a towel. "Let me go get you some new sheets and pillows."

I get out the bed as my aunt walks of the room. I remove my shirt and throw it into the hamper. I grab the towel and start to dry myself. I place it in the hamper when I finish. I open one of the drawers to pull out a new shirt. I turn around when I hear my aunt gasp, her eyes are wide open, and she has her hand over her mouth. I know what she is looking at. We never told her the real reason my dad wanted to send me over here. I quickly put on my shirt. My aunt drops the things in her hands and walks over to me. She grabs my arm and pulls up my sleeve. She runs her fingers over the scars and the new cut. She has tears falling down her cheeks; she looks up at me with such sorrow. She then lifts up my shirt and looks at the bruises on my chest and abdomen. She drops my shirt and places her hands over her face as she starts to cry. I place my hand on her shoulder.