Messages 5 [COMPLETE]

Clearing it up

Sooooooooooo Ari did a chapter about her ACTUAL feelingz about being in a relationship 

and it waz pretty similar to my thoughtz so I thought y not do a chapter since im running out of ideas anyway xddddd

So basically, I joke about being single and lonely. All da time.

BUT that doesn't mean I'll choose anyone off da bat

Like brah there r three gud reasons

A. I don't want to die cuz they could be a murderer

B. I got standards

C. I'm worth a lot since getting me iz kind of like getting a jackpot

Now ig reason C soundz like I'm bragging but realistically, all jokes aside, I really am worth a lot :v

Think about it: I have a good personality, I don't look too bad, I'm fun to be with, I have great humor, I can be smooth and romantic, I'm strong and defensive, I'm smart, I have a great family, I'm loyal, I'm trustful, and, overall, am someone who has a lot of good traits.

I've got my bad traits too tho (like being overdramatic and salty about legit EVERYTHING xdddd) but they don't rlly outnumber my good traits so yea JACKPOT

Buh ofc imma juz joke dat I'm nothing xdddddd especially since if u praise urself a tiny bit, everyone attacks u for being "egotistic" _-_

So becuz of me being like this, I'm not gonna go to someone that doesn't deserve me *cough* ego eggheads *cough* and have standards 

Now even IF someone DOES come along who I like AND might like me, that doesn't mean I'm juz gonna jump into a relationship like noh I'm not dat crazy

I WILL be close friends with them but not into a relationship cuz I think I'm WAAAAAAAAY too young for that. All da peeps dat r my age and I know dem have all dated and then broke up. There's like one or two couples in 7th grade that actually stuck. Other than that, they all broke up. And I've noticed it's only AFTER dating. Before, they had a crush on each other and everything was well but then they dated and broke up. It's the same cycle.

I think it's cuz being 12 or 13 is way to young to be in a relationship. As u get older, ur tastes become clearer and u know who you like better. You get more standards and a better chance of not getting a cheater. 

I wanna be able to get into a relationship and be confident that I'm making the right choice. I know I won't get it right the first time unless I'm REALLY lucky (cuz some peeps r) but I wanna be able to know that I went in there knowing I was ready.

Relationships are hard and scary. I don't think I'm old enough or mature enough to get into one yet.

But yea that's kinda the reality. Yes, I want that one friend that'll be my soulmate and I wouldn't mind them coming even rn. But I definitely don't wanna date them so quickly. Part of what will be the ideal relationship for me is knowing them for a long time and knowing that it's most likely the right choice.

Welp yea that was juz me clearing up my thoughts to chu peeps cuz Emelia kinda pointed out that it seemed like I was being needy and in my head, I knew that I wasn't and I was just joking about loneliness soooo I thought it'd be nice to let all of chu know ;v;

This is also probably the reason y I haven't had any crushes (irl ofc) for a LOOOOOONG time. Well, that and the fact that almost every guy I met in 7th grade are immature and overconfident douchebags